in

Dating : A 20 year old cancer survivor, struggling in the dating world.

Dating : A 20 year old cancer survivor, struggling in the dating world.


At 18 years of age I was diagnosed with cancer. At 20 I’m now cancer free but have been through 3 surgeries, 5 rounds of chemo, and 27 rounds of radiation. I’ve tried going out with girls but no luck. Many have been scared of the fact that I had cancer. It was still kinda frustrating though. I’ve tried various apps. Talk with people in person. My best answer right now, has been to not focus on dating at all, and just work on the things I like to do. Hoping someone could offer some advice?

Read also  Dating : Why do guys in their mid 20s not want to date or be in a relationship even when they have their life together?

What do you think?

22 Points
Upvote Downvote

5 Comments

Leave a Reply
  1. You don’t have to tell them, at least not right away. I would wait until you know they want to be in a relationship with you to tell him. I personally don’t disclose my past medical history (anymore I leaned my lesson after many first dates)

  2. Honestly what you’re doing now (focusing on yourself) is what is best. Don’t force anything. Just be yourself and someone will eventually come along. If you’re THAT worried about it, the best thing to do would join local community groups, college clubs, etc.

  3. I (27M) have had cancer when I was 23 years old. My girl friend at the time did leave me because of it. But that didnt stop me. I have had a few girlfriends in that time. They didnt really care that much about it actually. I had to tell them early on because they took one of my nuts off because of the cancer. So they would have noticed if I didnt tell them. But I tried to tell them in a moment when we where alone and telling serieus stuff about ourself.

    I must admit that I even used it for an opurtunatie. When I did tell them, I ask if they would want to see it. (They always do) And the rest is history, if you know what I mean. Lol

  4. My advice is to date older women. Young girls, college aged, and some well into their 20s (and I say girls because these are people I have experience with vis a vis dating, I’m sure it is not much different for men) just aren’t usually equipped to handle much about the world they haven’t lived yet. They don’t have the tools to unpack the fact that between 18-20, your life might have been more difficult than theirs ever will be. It’s very hard to feel inadequate and inexperienced and even if you don’t care, they probably do. So look for women who have experienced a little more of life’s ups and downs: people outside of your bubble, and usually they are gonna be way cooler about your cancer, and actually *into* you because your life hasn’t been all snow cones and pony rides.

    I used to only date/be into girls/women about 1 or 2 years older or younger than me, when I was living in my ‘bubble’ (living in my hometown, diverse as it may be, everybody was the same kind of diverse haha). I’ve moved abroad and am finding it much easier to relate to women 5-10 years different than I am, and since you’re too young to date women 5 years younger than you, my suggestion is to focus your attention on women a bit older than you are.

  5. Yeah, you are really young, why date?

    If you must date, just keep people informed, because it’s not something you want to drop on someone.

    Don’t worry, as you get older, people won’t care about a cancer scare, although young people won’t understand it right now.

Laisser un commentaire

Votre adresse e-mail ne sera pas publiée. Les champs obligatoires sont indiqués avec *

Tinder : Car insurance is so expensive these days

Dating : What To Do If You’re Tired Of Being Single