Dating : About Attraction
You hear this a lot that if you’re « putting that much effort into being attractive, no one will find you attractive. » And also, to love yourself. The issue is with dating sites. How is a guy who isn’t attractive supposed to get a date?
How are you supposed to love yourself if nobody loves you? I don’t get this saying. I understand you should be yourself but shouldn’t you change yourself a bit if others don’t seem to like your appearance? I mean you also get complaints on this site about how average looking guys can’t score replies on dating sites.
There’s a bunch of contradictory stupid advice out there. You’ve got to weed through the bullshit and figure out what actually makes sense.
> How is a guy who isn’t attractive supposed to get a date?
Get jacked.
> How are you supposed to love yourself if nobody loves you? I don’t get this saying.
Get jacked.
I think the trick is not to let your quest for a better appearance overtake everything else. Know what you have to offer personality-wise and then accept that people will need a certain level of attractiveness in order to want more than friendship.
If you genuinely feel like your looks are stunting you then by all means, do stuff to improve. For goodness sake, I think it’s kind of a disservice if your obese friend gets rejected over and over for being obese and then you insist that they just need to love themselves and not lose weight. At some point, we have to accept that people have eyes and then do the things we can to maintain ourselves physically just like we do mentally.
What’s unnattractive is talking about it or having it seem like that’s what takes up most of your time and mental energy. So… Don’t do that.
Try a professional photographer.
I’ll tell you my experience… I was so embarrassed by the way I looked that I had trouble updating my photos till I realized fuck this … this is who I am you love like it or fuck off.
And when I posted updated photos of me and full body picks with face, you know what happened?
I actually got so many more likes and connections and dates.
Being unattractive is just a mental thing we put. YES not all will find me or you attractive but guess what a lot more will then we realize we stop our selves because of fear !
Good luck be proud of your self
I feel like a lot of people like to be falsely positive about dating advice here. Most “average looking” guys on the site are not presentable. They take blurry pictures or refuse to smile. They wear outdated clothing or groom themselves in a way that’s not complementary and then complain they get no matches. Who they would be compatible with is a small niche of women who are more likely not to using dating apps. Some people could stand to change their appearance to be more attractive; I see nothing wrong with this. No one will care about your personality if you’re not able to attract them.
Ultimately, you have to love yourself regardless of you loves you first. Yes as humans we need to feel accepted but dating apps are not reliable to gain that. I think if you have a high level of self esteem and a good support group: you’re naturally more confident in dating. That should be developed before dating apps should be approached because it can be rough.
That stupid crap is just sloganeering, it’s not even advice.
« putting that much effort into being attractive, no one will find you attractive »
« love yourself before others can love you. »
Those propositions are both really stupid.
Also, dating sites are really stupid. Most people shouldn’t bother with them at all.
every since I took up cardio, drank water and ate veggies and lost weight…. girls want to fuck….
Why would anyone else’s opinion of you, change your love for yourself?
Lower your standards.