Dating : Am I [18F] too young/inexperienced to try online dating ?
I’ve been thinking about trying online dating for a few months now but I’m kinda scared because I’m not very experienced. I’ve never had a boyfriend (I’ve been asked out once but I was not interested), never had sex, and I’ve only kissed a guy once 2 years ago.
I have social anxiety so dating apps seem like a good option for me as it’s literally impossible for me to randomly go talk to people I’m intersted in and because I never get approached by strangers bc I’m very awkward and silent in social situations.
I feel that at my age people one dating apps are more interested in hookups and stuff like that (I have nothing against that but it’s not for me, at least currently) but I’m looking for something more stable so I don’t know if it’s even worth it to try.
ngl I’m kinda scared to be taken advantage of, especially if people there are way more experienced than I am, but at the same time I feel like there aren’t really any other ways to meet new people (all of my friends are girls and most of their friends are also girls, we mostly hang out at one of my friend’s house and when we go out we don’t really engage with other people, my hobbies are only solo things, it’s covid, I’m very shy,…..)
So yeah if you guys have any advice/opinion for me I’ll gladly take it ! (Thanks for reading and sorry for my english 🙂
You can still try online dating. When meeting people, I’d strongly recommend sticking to dates in the morning or afternoon. You can get a coffee and go for a walk- this is more safe, easy to cut short if things aren’t going well, and easy to extend if you want to chat for longer. It also highlights that you’re not interested in hookups.
You can even ask them on the dating app “what are you looking for?” to find someone who’s looking for the same things as you.
Also, tell a friend where you are. If you meet in a public space, you’re more safe, but it’s good to let someone know where you’ll be.
The only advice I can give you is not to send anyone money and make sure your profile says you don’t just want a hook-up. Also, always meet in public places for the first couple of dates at least
If you have an older more experienced female friend, have them give advice and vet potential dates. Not just for OLD but especially for OLD.
Do not date older men at 18, they will manipulate and take advantage of you! Many men online purposely look for young and naive girls to control and manipulate. They are called predator and they strive on your inexperience.
Yes, there are guys your age who are just looking for fun and hookups but they r not smart enough to use and abuse you. They are kinda stupid and upfront at that age. Another thing about online dating is that if you fall for someone before you meet them, chances are it’s not the same in person. You set high expectations but it will fall flat on your face in person.
Don’t have high hopes for online dating, you have to filter thru thousands of people before you find someone who is sane.
Take it from me, I once dated a guy who was admitted into a mental institution and another one who was jailed for dealing drugs.
In my opinion, I think 18 (even though legal age) is kinda young . Especially since you don’t have experience . Like, you’re going to come into contact with a lot of older people, and I’d raise my eye at anyone trying to pursue an 18 year old if they’re older than 20 . When I was 18 I started dating a guy in his 30’s and he absolutely took advantage of me being inexperienced and naive . Now that I’m 26 I cannot imagine trying to date someone 18… the thought is gross (no offense) . Maybe filter the age to 18-20 or try to meet people in school if that’s your path .
Good luck. You are young and naive. Just be safe and don’t commit too hard on things. Take it easy and the world is not going to end if things fall apart.
Honestly, no but please be careful.
Make sure that you carry something to protect yourself that is legal in your country.
And also never meet at his place or in a private area until you know him better. And this may be 4+ dates.
And if you do feel the urge to go over to his place at all, although I would advise against it.
Make sure that you tell someone and they can check up on you. I say this because I did this once when I was 20 I got assaulted please be careful.
You are not gonna get experience in dating if you don’t date. It’s quite natural to feel shy and fear the unknown. I would say try online dating but be very very careful. I used to be in your situation and I followed some rules that helped me a lot:
1. Do not date anyone over the age of 22. Older guys, especially guys over 25 being interested in dating a 18 years old is not a good thing. No matter how they flatter you and how mature they make you feel, understand that you are barely legal teen and older men (25+) taking interest in you is a red flag.
2. Do not share that you are inexperienced. At least not till you get to know someone really well. There are a lot of creepy insecure guys that obsess over female virginity. You want to avoid attracting them.
3. Vet them: talk on the phone and get to know them before meeting. Always meet in public place for first and second date. If a man is overly sexual, do not date him.
4. Yes most people in your age group is looking for hookup, but there are also people who are interested in making connections. So, instead of focusing on being in a relationship, try to focus on meeting people and getting to know each other.
5. Accept that dating takes time and effort. As a woman you will get easy matches but that’s cause s lot of guys just blindly swipe right. Do not feel sad if many of those matches do not end up in a conversation.
Lastly, do not revolve your life around dating. Build yourself and improve yourself. Quantity always wins over quantity.
Don’t do hookups and one night stands, learn from the mistakes of those of us who went down that path, it’s hedonism that you’ll regret later in life.
Pyramidsofgeezer suggests morning and afternoon dates, I highly concur.
Are you too preparing for the demon wars Giant Skeleton?
On a more serious note, lots of what you’ve written here is certainly a possibility, however it is an unfortunate reality which you will have to deal with. What you can do is be very choosy in whom you date. Be safe out there!