Dating : I think I don’t need a date but someone who’d just listen to me talk…

Dating : I think I don’t need a date but someone who’d just listen to me talk…

I had an epiphany yesterday while walking through the city. I am always looking after women with whom I can talk a bit. Like, every single day my brain just searches for someone I can talk to. And since I get along better with women (being a highly sensitive mal), I tend to focus on them the most.

Now, the thing is that at the slightest sign of genuine attention from a woman, my brain is going to think that that person likes me and, unprompted, will start to develop feelings for that person. It’s genuine affection just because of the attention that she gave me. It’s a very bad habit that I need to change asap, I am very aware of that.

I believe that the feeling of being misunderstood (because of my high sensitivity) is working against me here, though. Because I have been misunderstood in the past and, as a result, rejected by girls/women. So I basically want someone to be there for me who’d want to understand me and who’d accept me with all the good and the bad character traits that I possess. But I believe that it’s not a relationship but a talk buddy that I need.

Granted, therapists are there for that, but those are not there at later times of the day, and they also won’t hug you or even just put their hand on your shoulder and just comfort you with words whenever you’re feeling unwell. Not saying that an SO should be a therapist, not at all. But an SO is going to be your talking buddy who’ll, at some point, know you inside-out, while a therapist is going to concentrate on what’s not right.

That’s why, at least in my case, I had to really ask myself this difficult question: am I in need of love, care, or just attention? And I believe some people out there should also ask themselves this question, especially if you are looking for a girlfriend/boyfriend « at any cost » and are doing everything to find one. That question sucks, I’ll be the first to admit that, but it needs to be asked if we want to have a better understanding of our needs and our wants. Because sometimes what we want is not what we need.

TL;DR: I was looking desperately for a relationship when I think I just need someone’s attention and talk to them about my life.

Read also  Dating : (Venting) Keep getting broken up with due to "no spark" after 4-5 months and exclusivity.

What do you think?

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  1. I don’t think platonic relationships get enough credit! Friends are usually good for this! They’ll accept the good and bad parts of you and hug and love you.

    But please be careful. No one wants friends who only use them to dump all their emotional baggage on. Therapy really is the best and healthiest avenue in helping fix where your issues stem. That way your significant other and friends can focus on comforting you with love whenever you’re upset rather than trying to fix the issues.

    You do deserve love and attention and I’m hoping you find a healthy abundance of it.

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Dating : broken memories. (a personal essay by Roxxy Haze)