Dating : Am I just a stopgap?
So Round about two months about, I met a girl via online Dating. First, everything was perfect, we met two times and had a great time. After a few days after we met, her text behavior changed and I asked if everything was alright. She responded that everything was ok she just had too much stress. A few days later she told me she met a new guy at the gym, with whom she works out and that they want to make pizza later at her place, with her brother. I then asked her when she met that guy and she told me that it was the day before her text behavior changed. The next Friday she than told me she can’t fall in love with me bc she sees me more like a good friend. I told her that I can’t do that bc I don’t want to be stuck in a friendzone and wished her, her best and good luck finding someone who makes her happy.
Two weeks later she messaged me again, that everything didn’t go as planned and she wants to try it again. I met her a few days after that with her friend and mine and again we had a good time. She told me that she fell in love with the guy she met at the gym but it happened after we canceled to contact each other. Now sometimes she just forgets to answer my texts, wants to meet up but says she is too busy while she meets up with her friends all the time and does not tell me what the problem is, which is causing her all the trouble. On the other hand, she tries to keep the conversation alive and is not ghosting me at all and I don’t know what to do bc I’m getting so many mixed signals.
You initially did the correct thing, by refusing to be just friends. You were composed and showed dignity. She noted that.
She went with the more attractive guy (in her eyes). When they hooked up, it didn’t work out the way she wanted, because he got what he wanted (she threw it him) and moved on.
She remembered that you showed some emotional strength the first time around, and figured you’d be good to hang around with in the interim until something else came up.
She texts you still because she enjoys the attention you give her. It’s a rush getting a text from someone, whether you are into them or not.
The first time, you did everything right. When she came back, you accepted second place.
Yes, you are a stopgap.
She was at least honest and told you there was someone else and that you are someone she’s not romantically interested in. Obviously you are romantically interested but you didn’t want to be strung along. Well, she wants her cake and wants to eat it too. Things didn’t work out with gym guy but she knows you’re attracted to her. The feeling of being wanted feels good and since things didn’t work out with gym guy she’ll just hit you up and get a confidence boost. She’s not making the effort to see you like she did with gym guy. So i say be confident and stand your ground. If she’s not willing to put effort into making plans then you shouldn’t put effort into trying to pursue her. In order to ensure you’re making the right decision, just think about how you’re feeling at this moment. It sucks feeling like you’re being used and second best. Unless you like these feelings, things will not progress romantically with her. Once she finds another gym guy you’ll be cut out again.
Yes, she is using you. She doesn’t like you that much. Mixed signals = bad signals.
Get rid of her. She doesn’t respect you and she is a complete waste of your time. If you try to make it work with her, she will never respect you. She’s trying to keep you on the hook as an orbiter. If you participate in this, she will think you are very lame.
She probably got pumped n’ dumped by the gym guy and now she wants a therapist. Tell her to get a life. Even better, tell her she has trashy low class values.
I just have 2 words fot you…spare tyre.
Stay away from her. You will only be good until the next guy from her gym asks her out.
She’s keeping you around because she likes you enough that she’d like you as a backup. Know your worth
Wait until 24 months after her breakup before dating her. Until then, go slow, don’t spend much time on her.