Dating : Am I too picky?
Context: I am about to turn 25 and never have been on a date nor asked on a date. I’ve also never been in a relationship and honestly idk what or how is it to date someone you like. Also, I’ve never had sex.
I’ve tried dating sites and app but most guys I meet want to have sex only relationship. I am not against sex, I just don’t feel comfortable doing it with the first random dude I meet. This is making me worried because I am getting older and I honestly haven’t met someone who has set a spark on me. I enjoy a good workout and a good burger. I love action movies (all except scary movies), theme parks, comic conventions, anime, to name a few things. Am I too picky for asking someone to be ok with all of those things? I’m not asking for someone who would binge watch a whole serie with me, but more like someone who is ok with me enjoying those thing.
Edit: i mentioned this to a close friend and they mention how I am oblivious as fuck… so oblivious that a dick could come flying and i wouldn’t know its a dick until it hits me in the face
I am a 22 year old guy and am I’m pretty much in the same situation as you l with a lot of similar views but can’t get a girl to save my life. I have no problem talking or approaching girls but I always get friendzoned or ghosted. One time I was “seeing” a girl for like 9 months and when I asked her to be my girlfriend she said she only liked me as friend. We never even kissed during that time despite going on like 10 dates
Given your interests, no that doesn’t sound shallow. And not wanting an FWB or « situationship » is not shallow at all. Not knowing who you are or what you look like, it’s hard to say what the problem is for sure.
I’m a little younger than you, but I’m in the same boat. I’ve hung out with women before, but I never felt comfortable moving to intimacy. Something always puts me off. I think the right one will come along, so there’s no need to settle for something less than you really want.
You’re fine. Those types of things you can never be too picky on as long as you’re not demanding the other person be interested in them. Too picky is only things like if you only want a guy with washboard abs and the jawline of Channing tatum.
I’m in the same boat as you but I’m a guy, apparently after too or three dates you have sex and that’s just too soon for me.
Youre fine, start looking elsewhere to meet people. Best advice I ever gave a group of girls, remember that what you’re looking for in a man, they’re looking for in you too. Be realistic when meeting people and be easy to talk to, be flexible with people.
If you want to have a man that talks to you and asks questions, you need to ask questions and talk to them too.
If you want a man to get to know you, you need to get to know him.
If you focus on superficial traits, he will focus on superficial traits.
If you only focus on what you want, why would he put off what he wants?
If you objectify him down to physical traits. He will too (this typically focuses more on sex). Why set the standard for emotional connection to physical looks?
If you’re being too picky, why should he avoid being picky?
I’m not saying youre doing any of this, I’m merely giving advice.
My suggestion, focus on what you want for yourself and those around you. Not what you want a man to be.
Theres no official rulebook in dating, do what you’re comfortable with and understand why along the way.
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You are not too picky! You know what you like and sometimes that can be very helpful. Keep your particulars in mind but also see if some of them have any wiggle room. I’m sure you already know this…but do NOT feel like you have to negotiate your sex comfort level for anyone! Date or no date. Good luck!