Dating : Another Post-Dating Friends Question
Hi Reddit,
Summary – was dating a girl for two and a half months, went really well. We stopped a little over a month ago because she felt she had too much going on in her life for anything more serious, and she said she genuinely wanted to be friends. She does have a lot going on, and she’s a very genuine person. Two nights before this she’d asked me to meet her best friends and then told me how glad she was we all got on so well, so I don’t think it was a coded ‘not that into you’ or ‘my friends hated you’.
We did text a bit over the next two weeks, just occasionally about a TV show we both watch. After replying I sent her another (stupidly, I know) asking if we could go for a drink and see how things were. Since then I haven’t heard back from her; in the three weeks since I’ve messaged her five times, just chatty stuff and one asking how she’s doing. I do want to stay friends as she’s an honest, fun person and we have a lot in common.
Aware that I’m probably heading towards or already in annoying/needy/weird territory, I don’t know whether to send her another saying sorry and that I do still want to be friends, or just to leave it as I’m worried I’ve annoyed her already.
Grateful for (sincere) advice.
Hmmm has she responded to any of your five messages you sent? If I asked someone out for drinks and they didn’t answer, then sent them five more unanswered messages I would personally take that as her not wanting to contact anymore.
Sometimes no answer is an answer.
But I don’t know her, and maybe this is just her style. If you really want to figure things out, I would cool it with the texts and pick up the phone and call her. If she doesn’t answer, she probably screening you and you should probably just move on. If she picks up, have a casual convo and just casually apologize for all the texts by making it a joke…like « oops, guess I got a little to excited excited about being friends lol ». Something better than that, but just play it off like it wasn’t a big deal. Then make plans with her and her friends, not just the two of you.
Also, I’m in the same situation at the moment except I haven’t sent her a bunch of messages…so take all that with a grain of salt because for all I know I’m about to get ghosted and the talk of friendship maybe was just her guilt at rejecting me? Who knows…