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Dating : Are all men wired to lose interest after the « chase » phase?

Dating : Are all men wired to lose interest after the « chase » phase?


Why do men lose interest in a girl they have been chasing for months the minute she gives in and sleeps with them?

Read also  Dating : Is clubbing an immature event/activity?

What do you think?

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  1. No. Loss of interest isn’t because there is some notion of been there done that, conquered that hill. If a guy just wanted casual sex waiting isn’t going to change that. If he wanted a relationship having sex quickly isn’t going to damage the relationships success either. What does happen is not losing interest after the chase, it’s the honeymoon phase being over and there not being enough news seen through Rose coloured glasses. Maybe conversation isn’t stimulating, maybe interests or humour differs. It’s not just men this happens to, I’ve known many women who have never had a relationship longer than 3 months(the time it takes for most honeymoon phases to be well and truly over). It really isn’t about the chase and once someone is caught, that is it, really isnt

  2. I hate the « chase phase » or whatever cat and mouse mind game you want to call it. Can’t we just attack each other with lust and romance?

  3. Because chasing is tiresome. You ever chase something? What do you do when you reach your destination? You eat then you rest duh. He spent alll the energy to the chase already.

    How about we dont see relationship as chasing huh. We find people meet our value. If dont then next. Stop chasing bro

  4. 1. they only wanted to have sex and nothing else

    2. the level of effort they put in before sex is way way higher than what they want to do. they are still interested – but they dont want to be 200% effort forever.

  5. Different possibilities:

    1. He was never really that interested, but just wanted to get laid
    2. You weren’t good in bed
    3. He found your naked body unattractive
    4. Post-nut clarity made him realize that he wasn’t really that into you

    Overall, I would say « no » to the question about the chase. That said, men can unintentionally overlook a lot of a woman’s flaws during the « chase. » Then, once he actually has sex with her and the rose-colored glasses come off, those flaws become apparent.

  6. No. I’m an example of that. I don’t like much of anything about the « chase » phase. I wish I could meet someone who’s right for me and skip ahead to when we’re comfortable together.

    Edit: I just saw the second half of your question. I mean there are a couple reasons I can think of. The first being he was just trying to sleep with you from the start. The second that women don’t seem to think about is that maybe you just weren’t a match sexually/he didn’t enjoy it. And a 3rd thing that has happened to me before is I sleep with someone the first time who I really did like but she has an odor down there that is just unbearable.

  7. Chasing isn’t fun. Especially if it took months I imagine the guy to just be exhausted, possibly running on sunk cost for some part of it. Whether he lost interest is for him to tell, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he just stopped chase behaviour and is letting you have your turn for a bit.

  8. Back when I was dating a few years ago I learned to not chase women. The fact that I have to chase them, to begin with, indicates that they are trying to get away.. I used to chase women but I found it a waste of my time. I would be more interested in someone who replicates my effort and time in the dating stage. I found someone who wants to be chased a waste of time as it is only a game they are playing to begin with..

    EDIT: Thanks for the Awards. Very much appreciated!

  9. It depends on age, there maturity level and what they’re looking for. When dating before jumping into bed, it’s always worth having a Conversation on what they are looking for and ask them to be honest.
    If they say one thing and do any other, then at least you know you can’t trust them so it’s good that they show there true colours early before you catch feels.

  10. I think it’s more common that men who see these sorts of withholding/hoopjumping games being played lose their interest in a relationship and switch to their own game mode, it just has different rules and objectives than the one that woman set up.

  11. During the « chase » we dont see all the red flags, or overlook them. We see what she wants us to see, after intercourse the real person become apparent.

  12. I can only speak for myself, but that’s not at all something I do or have ever done so inherently not « all » men lose interest as you’ve described. Granted, I may also be an outlier in the fact I’m absolutely positive no woman has « given in » and had sex with me. The thought of that alone makes me uncomfortable, so if I felt like a woman was « giving in » and basically giving me a pity fuck or something, I would pass, but also lose interest and move onto someone that actually seemed equally as interested in me. But I’m an outlier in basically everyway in terms of modern dating, so it’s possible not many other men feel this way and will happily accept pity sex, and spend an undetermined amount of time basically wearing someone down with the hopes of eventually attaining sex and nothing more. Idunno

  13. When you mistake your mental costruct of who you think someone is for who they actually are, it more often than not will lead to disappointment. Most people can’t tell the difference between the two.

  14. The “chasing for months” part is what speaks to me. Why chase for months? And after that time, why give in?

    Not all guys like to chase. Some of the guys that do will want the prize to equal the effort put in.

    If you are requiring a guy to chase to prove his interest then you might be focusing on the wrong thing. Talk to them. Find out likes and dislikes.

  15. Men lose interest cause you have to bring more than sex, it’s really not that hard ladies. Ask yourself what has he got going on that you can compliment or what can you do to make his life easier and peaceful, I promise you he would value you so much more than any other female he’s dealt with, bring more to the table so he can look at you as irreplaceable.

  16. Just because they have been pursuing, arguing, following them for months, sometimes years, before sleeping, so some men could think that those girls or women did not love them anymore, and that they have made them wait just out of malice or women coquetry…IMHO

  17. I don’t deal with chase games. I’m confident, successful, stable, loyal, and loving. Women who like these games to me don’t deserve me.

  18. I’ve never lost interest in a woman after the chase phase. I’ve had one who decided she wasn’t ready for a relationship and another who basically used me for a one night stand. This is really a pigeon-holing statement

  19. I am the opposite I do not find any interest in the chase I become more interested after that’s all done I see the chase is a game and I’ve never enjoyed it.

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