Dating : Are we moving too fast or are things great? (20M/20F)

Dating : Are we moving too fast or are things great? (20M/20F)

So this is a longer post that requires some back story. My girlfriend and I met on Bumble, which is not too terribly unusual in a college relationship. We both come from battered past relationships. Her last long-term relationship was relatively hard for her, as was mine, but we have both been in love before. We each coincidentally took about the same time off from dating (~1.5 years) to correct ourselves and look at our own mistakes that we made in our past relationships.

On our first date (we had never met, but I had briefly seen her on campus once) it felt as if we had been catching up after being apart for a long time. We talked at a coffee shop in Dallas for 5 hours. Turns out we have the same ethical and political beliefs, and while our religious beliefs are different, we are both open minded and accepting, and it doesn’t bother us at all. We started dating on our after our 3rd date.

We have the same stance on relationships and have talked for hours about how we wont be a modern-day couple that gives just to receive something in return. She’s done extremely nice things for me in return for essentially nothing (i.e. making a 6 hour drive just to return a car to my mom [long story]) and I have done stuff to the same degree. It has never been for the benefit of ourselves. Our views are perfectly aligned on what we want from a relationship.

We also have always been extremely open and had full communication from day 1. I know her past sexual partners, her kinks, her emotional triggers, how to help calm her down, what frustrates her, you name it. Vice versa. We talk about any issues that arise, and about our own character flaws and what we’ve fixed about ourselves. We’re aware of each other’s seemingly gross habits and bathroom trips. There has genuinely been nothing that we haven’t talked about, though we still learn more about each other everyday and teach each other lessons. She comes from a very wealthy family, while mine is very poor, so we have contending perspectives all the time.

We have plans in place for various issues that could arise, (pregnancy plan, argument mitigation, college graduation plans, etc.) you name it. Not to mention we are extremely supportive of each other in every endeavor.

I know about the honeymoon phase, but I haven’t felt this mature and secure in a relationship ever, and that’s including my ex whom I dated for almost 3 years, and I thought that was serious. To me, at least, it seems as if we have been dating for much longer than we have (only 3 months) and I was wondering what I should make of this. Is it moving too fast? Granted it doesn’t feel too fast at all, and we are still head over heels in love with each other and things are still so exciting and it’s honestly quite amazing and refreshing and comfortable to feel so secure.

**TL;DR** My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 4 months, and things are pretty much flawless and feel very secure, yet we’ve completely let ourselves go around each other in terms of physically, emotionally, and conversationally. are we moving too fast, or did we skip the honeymoon phase?

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What do you think?

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  1. If it feels right for you, it doesn’t mean you’re going too fast. Honestly, I want a relationship like yours. I think it’s awesome that you both trust each other so much. Who is to say how fast you can fall in love? Best of luck!

  2. Unless you guys are like getting married next week or planning a baby, you are good. Enjoy the moment, enjoy it while it lasts. I am not saying its gonna end, just to stop thinking about it so much and just live in the moment. Looks like you have something great going on, so rock on.

  3. Hey, we’re (23M/32F) pretty much the same. Been together for 2 months, moved « way too fast ». And the ironic thing, it happened by going with the flow, enjoying the moment and not rushing anything.

    I’m not worrying too much. Don’t think you have to either.

  4. This sounds so similar to me and my boyfriend (21f/22m)! We met on tinder, clicked immediately, talk about everything, support each other emotionally, work through disagreements smoothly, and have only been dating 4 months! I also was worried it was moving too fast, but I’ve talked to people about it and they all agree that there is no timeline for these kinds of things. Keep going with the flow, it sounds like you’ve got a really great relationship:)

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