Dating : Asked him out + my first date
(20F)
I hit on a a customer at work the other day. (I know, I know. Dangerous territory.) I have a part time job on my college campus so most of the customers are college students. I am very shy and have recently made a goal of mine to compliment a stranger once a day to spread positivity/break out my shell. I really love seeing how people react to compliments; it can really make someone’s day. I’ve been practicing this at work a lot.
After giving his receipt, I told him I thought he was really cute. I was honestly shocked with myself as the words left my mouth. I never thought I could be so bold. He smiled and told me I was cute too. We exchanged Instagrams. I suggested we grab dinner Thursday night through DMs. This is my first outing with a guy I’m interested in, so I’m a nervous wreck. Any advice?
Sidenote: I’ve been on Tinder/Bumble and have always backed out/lost interest if it started to lead towards a date. Maybe it’s because we always put our best photos, but there’s always that fear of meeting IRL? That fear of rejection/how they’ll perceive you in person… I don’t have that. He has only seen me in my scrubby work uniform and was interested! I could go on about how dating apps suck and how a handful of people are on there more for validation and less about wanting to meet people but I’ll save that for another post… Just wanna say how putting yourself out there (like, really our there.) can work out sometimes!
As a guy, I would tell you to just act normal and make casual conversation. I know it’s not much but simplicity is key. Just relax and enjoy yourself. Unless you’re looking to hookup right away. You have to remember is only a date and you’ll most likely be in a conttroleedt environment. If you feel uncomfortable say you’re good bye’s and leave. If it goes well then it’s easy, just go with the flow. I find that on a lot of dates these days people pretend to be someone their not. That’s not to say being a little more excited or spontaneous is faking who are, but don’t be the guy/girl that is hesitant to act a certain way because it might not allow the date to go smoothly.
Be true to yourself. Don’t overthink it. Have fun!
The more you expose yourself to dating and making connections, the easier it will be.
Happy for you!
First, I’m kinda jealous of the proverbial balls you displayed!
My advice, is advice I was given for my first date (different circumstances but is still relevant), don’t overthink it, enjoy yourself and show a genuine interest in what the person you are dating is saying (they should be reciprocating this) ask relevant questions etc. And the good ol’ be yourself. Don’t try to come across as a different person. Nerves are an important part of a first, second, third date so on, so don’t be worried about them. You will have some silences that may seem awkward – that’s okay it’s normal, try to fill them by asking a question, most importantly relax and enjoy it!
Post date – if it went well you will feel great that will lead to a lull in your mood, and all you will want to do is talk to them and see them again. Play it cool, I think this is the most dangerous point, you don’t wanna come off too strong too early. And if it goes well you might even have another date on the horizon!
If it doesn’t go so well it’s not the end of the world, try not to dwell on it too much because you may feel down for a bit, but it’ll pass.
Girls don’t usually have to ask guys out, they’re quite sick of all the guys hitting on them. Glad to hear you’re taking the initiative though, just gotta accept that rejection will now be part of your world if you take on that role.
Hi, that was a very bold move so congrats on that! Try not to overthink conversations even though i know it’s hard! You already have one thing in common which is that both of you are college students so you can talk about majors, college life and etc. Honestly, you can talk about anything especially since it’s your first time meeting up. Listening is the most important part of any conversation so make sure you really listen to what he has to say. This allows for natural and smooth conversation. It’s also okay to have moments of silence between you two if you run out of things to say! Push yourself to go on these dates though! Even if they suck atleast you tried it out and put yourself out there to meet new people. Good luck on your date 🙂
Whoa you sounds awesome! Congrats on putting yourself out there and spreading positivity
Have clear boundaries, be upfront (honest not blunt) and be yourself. If you still click and you’ve done those things it could be really nice. And just have fun. Hanging out with other people is supposed to be fun and if not fun at least stimulating.