Dating : Bartender gave me his number, flirtation ensued and then I got shut down.
This dude finally gave me his number a couple of weeks ago under the pretenses of me borrowing one of his books. We texted and he offered to bring the book by my place to which I proposed coffee/drinks. He accepted and then had to reschedule due to a busy schedule. So I’m in the bar on Friday, which is normal for me, and we’re flirting and chatting. Also, before you say it, this guy is 100% flirting, I have his number for goodness sake and he offered to bring me the book outside of his workplace.
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He offered to help me move into my new apartment while I was at the bar. And we texted back and forth that night with a bunch of banter/teasing. The next day, I go out thrifting and find a copy of the book he was gonna let me borrow…I was tired of waiting to borrow it so I bought it. I sent him a picture of it and said « Guess I don’t need you now… » totally kidding and he replied with just an ok. And I haven’t heard anything from him for a couple days. Should I not have said that? Should I text about rescheduling coffee or just leave him alone and let him text me? Ask him to help me move? I thought it was progressing really well and now it’s just dead in the water.
Call him.
You’re so slick there, Missy. Ya dun goofed.
This is a tough one. My opinion though is maybe he didn’t get it was a joke. I know I’ve been told I can be pretty dense but considering you are said to have been flirting I doubt that would be the case. Never know though I’d text maybe see if there actually is some confusion somewhere to clear it up an reschedule.
Bartenders are chatty with patrons. You think he was into you when he was just drumming up business.
Be honest,if you like the dude just flat out say you want to see him and point something out you like about them
See I appreciate the joke (M) good timing but the problem with texting timing based wit is tone is hard to convey, so it can often come across completely different to how it was intended. In the dating world chicks can go from hot to cold real fast from out perspective so it could be that. It also could just be he happened to be busy and was sending an acknowledgment text (which I also do) you’d need to talk to him though
If I were in his position and I were maybe feeling sensitive, I would take that as « you played hard to get for too long, I don’t want anything from you now »
I would have said the exact same thing, your joke I mean. So don’t let anyone make you feel shitty about it. Just text him again and mention something from the book, if you are too nervous to bring up the confusion. Otherwise just say « I hope you know i was kidding when we last spoke ».
Ask yourself how badly do u want to know? Are you ok with this one getting away because you think he a mind reader? The fact that your even here asking this question mean it eating you up inside. Regrets is forever man. Believe that.
I would move on. Contrary to other responses, i think what you said would very easily lead into him saying, ‘well you still owe me drinks’. And bam there you go. I get we can be dense but come on, it isn’t that difficult.
I think you messed up, message him back and say you were joking.
You just goofed. He probably thinks you aren’t interested now. Just ask him out for fucks sake.
This will probably be a FWB situation in any case, in such a case I don’t see why it is very important what either of you say in text, you can write to him « let’s have the coffee in my apartment » or pretty much anything else and it will work.