Dating : boyfriend following girls on instagram?
F(22) dating M(22) (relationship for about 8 months): I noticed that my boyfriend follows some instagram models and sometimes girls who are in the same city with not as much of a large following (3000-4000+) as some of these influencers. I saw there was quite a few of them and admittedly I got insecure because I felt like I wasn’t good enough or that he felt the need to look at these girls to look at something I couldn’t fulfil.
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I talked to him about it and he was able to hear me out and said he unfollowed most of them, but he said that he still wanted to keep following some of them. He did unfollow most of them but as he said, still kept some.
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I can’t help but be obsessed with the issue because every now and then when I check his following it goes up and he still follows new girls. I don’t know if I have to bring it up again because I don’t want him to know I keep checking. I get anxious about following the instagram models because those are standards that I can’t ever get to, and I especially feel anxious about the girls in the same city because he could come across them at any time.
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He’s not the type that comes across as a cheater or vindictive but I just feel helpless because it seems like he follows them because I obviously can’t fulfil a certain attractiveness level. How can I think better about this situation or be able to stop obsessing over it?
A lot of the reactions here are “that’s just the way guys work, don’t worry about it”. While it might be true, it shouldn’t invalidate her feelings about the situation. “That’s just how we are” is not an excuse if your actions are hurting someone you love.
I have been in your situation. It is true that he probably follows them because he’s a man and men like to be visually stimulated. But I can really understand that it can make you feel insecure and inadequate. You have talked to him about it and he unfollowed some but says he wants to keep following a few. What’s more important to him: following a few hot chicks on Instagram or your feelings?
Of course it’s also a matter of being secure and confident about yourself but admittedly in today’s day and age, as a woman, you can’t help but compare yourself to the beautiful girls on Instagram; especially if your bf seems attracted to them. I think your boyfriend should at least put in more effort to make you feel better 🙂
Don’t overthink it, it’s completely normal. Kinda like watching porn, regardless of how much sex we’re having, we’ll mostly always watch some porn here and there. Similar to your situation, doesn’t matter if we’re in a relationship, we’ll still follow some hot girls “just because”, not really a big deal
So what. Guys are attracted to hot girls why are you surprised.
[https://youtu.be/PvQrFBOyDs0](https://youtu.be/PvQrFBOyDs0)
Unacceptable behavior IMO. Lots of people will say its no big deal, why waste time worrying but theyre wrong.
Following a specific person on social media even when you are one of thousands of douchebags following is still forming a connection and that is wrong in the context of a relationship.
Your boyfriend sounded really receptive to your feelings and tbh I think that should be a point of emphasis. That being said, I can understand your thought process, though I do not personally feel he is stepping out of bounds from the context provided
So the root of your insecurities is that you cannot look like an instagram model? You realize those girls don’t look like that either, right? There’s filters, make up, photoshop, professional photographers and more.
You need to be able to feel comfortable in your own skin and realize that if he’s with you is because he feels attracted to you and he also feels a connection with you, he cares about your feelings and doesn’t want to hurt you. Honestly, a pretty girl can have a lot of guys, but it takes more than physical appearance to make a guy stay and insecurity is never what hold a relationship together.
Lol, your boyfriend can’t get one of those models in his dreams… You have nothing to fear. Those girls wouldn’t give him the time of day lol.
Guys like pretty girls, our dicks are like magnets, we see them and it wants to connect. But, that has nothing to do with the feelings he’ll have for you, which even sleeping with those girls wouldn’t give him.
Gotta think of guys two ways. There’s the girls we want to bang, which is like 50% of y’all. Then there’s the girls we want more than to just bang, and that’s a much smaller percentage, and those girls like you don’t seem to understand that.
If he’s DMing them, asking them out and stuff like that, okay that’s one thing, if he has dating apps on his phone, another. But, if he’s just liking hot girl photos, that’s just a dude being a dude.
The reason this actually upsets you, is because it robs you of the heroine role in your story. You don’t feel like the special princess that won him over, you feel like just the good enough girl that he settled for… No girl ever wants to feel like the good enough girl, although they never want to feel like the princess either.
Women want a man that’s not easy to get because he has options, that picks her over all those options. Which is why porn and instagram and all that comes as such a natural threat, because it gives the illusion that a guy actually has options, when he really doesn’t.
Your guy probably doesn’t have the options you think he does.
Do you enjoy watching pro sports?
Football, basketball, baseball, etc?
Ya u prolly do, why?
So u can check out fit good looking guys, so why cant ur bf chk out fit good lookin chicks
Afraid of a little competition, OP?
Look, I’m not very experienced in the dating realm but I know enough to know that the second you show signs of insecurity when he follows other girls on instagram is the second you start to lose him. You’re basically saying “I don’t feel good enough about myself to feel worthy of you so I have to act tough and put on a front”. If he’s going to get with one of them then that’s on him and there’s nothing you can do about it, you don’t control him. The only thing you can do is control how you react and by showing that you don’t care you’re basically saying “I accept what you do because I know you love me »