Dating : Current M/F dating trends
Oldun (M54) here.
In another sub it has been suggested that the availability of online dating, sexting etc is leading to more dating/sexual activity for the ‘top’ 20% of guys, and increased sexual activity for maybe 40% of women.
In contrast, sexual activity for ‘typical’ guys is dropping.
In other words many young women are hooking up with the ‘top’ guys, leaving the ‘typical’ guys behind.
Is this likely to be true?
If so, does it mean that many guys when they finally settle down in long tern relationships will be much less sexually experienced than their partners?
I think all of your hypothesis’ are pretty much spot on yep.
The simple resolution. Be a top 20. And age has nothing to do with that.
Which sub?
I was very good at sex by the time I reached 23. I was always pretty decent at it given a good sense of what to do and a ridiculously long cum-time (45 minutes on average… sounds fun but it’s not). So if by « experienced » you mean more sexual partners, the girlfriend I had at 18 had slept with 100 men when I met her (I was lucky #100); she was 15 at the time.
Regarding online dating/the modern landscape, I don’t find it difficult to get laid. Meet quality women? Hell yes. That’s like ***maybe*** 8%, or 2 in 25. Of these maybe 1 in 50 is into me. Of them maybe 1 in 300+ have similar interests. Of them maybe 1 in 500+ also align with goals and values. Then are they single?
So idk about these facts and figures – make a girl want you, get some booty. I can do this really quickly or take my time, it really doesn’t matter to me (I got sexed out around 25; I like it, but it’s not that important to me). Idk what you’re worried about. Women have more opportunities for sex, but it doesn’t mean they’re good at it. A lot of times they just lay there and be lazy – only like 1 in umm.. I mean it really just depends. I had one girl that was *really* good at sex and always consistent (gave 110% every time – favorite lover I’ve had). The rest.. around 20% were « good », 30-40% okay, and the remaining 40-50% were just god awful… like not even fun – total lack of willpower/chemistry/compatibility in the bedroom.
Good god go post in a Jordan B. Peterson forum or something. Why the fuck is everyone so obsessed with these « top 10/20% » figures about men.
https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-guys-unless-you-are-really-hot-you-are-probably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a
Here is probably one « study » which shows this. Yes, in a world where it takes you literally a flick with a finger to dismiss someone and look for the next potential partner, why would you settle for something less? It appears that there are infinitely many guys out there anyway. You don’t have invested anything despite a movement with your finger. It’s not a big loss of your energy to dismiss a sub-optimal guy anyway. You rather invest in a guy who has much better chances to begin with, aka he is attractive and you are attracted to him on first sight.
Probably true because back in the day women didn’t have a chance to connect with that top 20% guy unless she happened to meet him in person, catch his eye and attention enough that he would walk up to her, then connect, then get her number, then arrange a later date.
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Women hung around with whoever was in their community and available/ approached them or whatever.
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Now a top 20% guy just swipes through all the girls in a second and the girls just accept and come over.
Keep in mind who the authors of those posts are, OP….
It has less to do with looks than a lot of people assume. If you are a decent conversationalist, have fun & interesting hobbies, and behave like an adult you will do just fine.
I think a lot of people who don’t have these skills and also happen to have have low self-esteem often shift the blame for their lack of success on the modern dating scene instead of taking the opportunity to reflect and improve themselves. They also wind up being a very vocal minority on dating and relationship subreddits.
It’s a misinterpretation of an OKC study that was removed after it was being misunderstood so often.