Dating : Dating multiple people at once?
I (33F) spent the last year in an FWB situation where I had feelings and hoped he’d change his stance on our relationship but (surprise!) he didn’t.
So I am back on the apps getting myself back out there. I have a bad habit of putting all my eggs in one basket that really needs to stop and told myself I just needed to start going on lots of dates with many people basically casting a wide net.
I can’t seem to do this though. I went on a few dates with one guy that I ultimately wasn’t feeling and set up a first date with another just before I broke things off with guy #1. We’ve gone on a couple dates and are def hanging out again soon, but the idea of planning another date and doing this with more than one person and taking up that much of my time just seems daunting. Like I’ll usually hang out 1-2 times a week at first and the thought spending most of my nights on dates while trying to balance my existing social life just seems exhausting.
What’s other people’s experience with this? How do you juggle everything?
I tried it a couple times over the last 2 years and it was overwhelming as far as the time commitment goes, and it was underwhelming as far as building any kind of connection. There is only 1 of me to go around. When I tried talking to and dating 4 women, they weren’t getting but 25% of me…and it cost 4x as much 😛
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I don’t do it anymore. I’ll chat with a few women to set up dates. First one to agree to the earliest date, I go out with. If there is no second date, I chat with other people again. If there is a second date, I just go on the second date…
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Still single, but at least I can manage this better now, lol.
I’m doing it right now and it’s definitely overwhelming sometimes. The best advice I can give is to take it slow. Maybe start off with just 2 people, that way you can dedicate time to each of them every other week. Don’t plan too many time-consuming dates. The more casual or laid-back the activity, the easier it becomes to get used to.
If you’re gonna commit to dating multiple people, make sure you designate a couple days for yourself. I usually let my guys know upfront that I don’t hang out Sunday-Tuesday. I also try not to put them before the rest of my social life–i.e. friends, family, etc, so there are weeks where I’ll dedicate my weekends to solely hanging out with friends or whatever.
It can totally be a challenge when you first start though. I fell off for a while and ended up sticking with one guy, but it got a bit boring so I’m giving it another shot. No regrets so far!
I am doing this right now and not only is it hard to balance, but I have gotten myself into a situation where things went unexpectedly well with both women and now I have to go and hurt someone which makes me feel awful. So just be aware there are also adverse consequences to sharing your eggs across multiple baskets.
I wanted to try it, but couldn’t even bring myself there.
I’ve started dating multiple people this year, and I thought it was tiring at first until I realized I can just manage it by taking breaks inbetween, and also letting the date know when I was ready to meet up.
Also I’m vetting too, so I really try to only go on dates if I get some decent vibes from the guy. If it doesnt work out I just continue to move on from day one. You just have to pick yourpriorities.
Why not, its called DATING. Sine when did Dating = exclusive? The whole idea of dating is to date multiple people to figure out which one is the best fit for you.
You just juggle according to your schedule. Whats the complicated in that?
Setting aside a few days a week up front is a really good idea. Thanks!