Dating : Do you discuss salary on first date?

Dating : Do you discuss salary on first date?

I’m finding that a lot of guys I’ve been going on dates with will tell me their salary (whether true or false lol) and kind of expect me to do the same.

Now I have absolutely no problem with this, but I’m worried that because I make a lot, it might lead him to stick around for the wrong reasons?

I’m finding that when I don’t answer these type of questions or tell them I feel its inappropriate to discuss, they are straight up assuming I am doing some sort of shady job on the side like a stripper. I’ve been accused of it several times, or had it implied. I clearly have nice things (not designer logo stuff), a nice house, so they want to know where it comes from. And then I never get a second date because they think I’m lying or hiding something.

When it comes to my job (physician assistant), no one thinks it pays near 200k in my area. No one really knows what it is. Its basically an advanced practice nurse with a graduate degree who can do a lot of the same stuff as a physician including private practice. The job title is misleading, it sounds like I’m a dinky assistant getting paid minimum wage to pickup towels or something haha. I’ve tried to explain it before, but I always get questions like « if you’re basically a doctor, why are you called an assistant that makes no sense » and basically implying that I’m lying.

How should I be handing this? Is asking salary range common for a first date?!

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What do you think?

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  1. I’ve never once told a girl my salary on the first date, nor have I asked, nor do I really care. I have asked “what do you do?” but it has never gone down a salary route. That’s off putting for me especially for a first date

  2. How else will I know if I should call him Daddy?

    Seriously though, it’s not really normal to discuss something like that on a first, or second date. Is that an attempt to impress? Or maybe to assign value? It seems really impersonal and not conducive to feeling each other out.

  3. No. Absolutely not. If I were you I’d firmly put that shit down. I don’t imagine anything good can come out of discussing your salary.

  4. Hmmm, I’ve never had that happen to me before.


    I would hold off on salary discussion until you are comfortable with letting him know.

  5. That doesn’t seem to be something I’d wanna discuss unless I’m actually dating them in an LTR. For them and myself.

    The most I’d do is tell them my position but won’t disclose numbers.

  6. I have never been asked about my salary the first few dates and i didn‘t ask this question either to be honest. If you are wearing some super fancy expensive clothes and have a very nice house that‘s maybe the reason they are asking. I don‘t really know what advice to give you.. maybe try to dress a bit more like an „average earning person“ (don‘t wear your most expensive clothes) the first few dates and explain them your job until you get to know them better then you can explain them that your are living „comfortable“ as i would say it

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