Dating : Does he see me as a second option?
I dated someone for several months during lockdown that I met on an app and I was hopeful that it would lead to a relationship, I was honest about my intentions from the jump only for him to tell me that he doesn’t think he’s ready for a relationship anymore and that he has time to date but not be in a relationship.He then hit me with the classic line that he was never locked in with the intention of finding a relationship, he just wanted to see where things go with me. He said since things are opening in our country that he wouldn’t know what social life would look like for him so he doesn’t want a relationship anymore. He said he doesn’t know when he’ll be ready for one either. This all shocked me, because we spoke about what we’re looking for for several months, we went on various dates, and we spoke daily. He told me many times he wanted a relationship. I told him I’m looking for more commitment and maybe we can remain friends and he said he was disappointed but understood (yet he wasted my time!).
We have maintained sporadic contact since then (April), and on Sunday I reached out to him platonically and asked if he wanted to meet at a park sometime soon as friends. He informed me that he had been dating someone for 2 months, so he doesn’t think we should meet right now because it would complicate things, and that he’s not « ready » to see me again even as friends despite the fact that he’s flirted with me multiple times since we decided to remain friends. I told him I won’t reach out anymore because I don’t want to intrude anything, and he told me I’m not intruding anything and to reach out anytime I want and that he’ll reach out. After that, I didn’t reply and unfollowed him on instagram and deleted his number.
It seems he doesn’t see you as an option at all anymore. He’s been dating someone else for two whole months already.
It sounded like he wanted to play the field perhaps at the time that he was seeing you. Could have been a timing issue but why would you want to get with him again when he’s already sort of deemed you as not good enough for him to commit to? You asked and you got your answer, reaching out is like asking for sloppy seconds again. Have more respect for yourself and don’t reach out to him again. He made his choice so let him stick with it. It’s tragic that men lie like this and string women along and I’m so sorry you were treated like this for months it’s really unacceptable that someone can’t make up their mind for months like that and be cruel to someone, it must be heartbreaking to a degree once you invest time and I can’t imagine. All I’d say is don’t let it dampen your chances and keep looking!