Dating : Does love come easily or does it take work?
I’m asking in regard to the beginning of a relationship. In your own experiences with love, was it easy at first, or did you have to work at the relationship and put a lot of effort in to see the other person?
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Asking because I am interested in someone and it feels like it’s taking a lot of effort…but if it works out, it will feel worth it to me.
It arrives easily, but then take work to keep and grow.
You can’t MAKE someone love you.
In the beginning I think things seem easy. It’s exciting to get to know another person and to experience new things with them. Once you’ve been together for a bit I think it takes work, mostly in the form of communication. I fear that if you are having to put a lot of effort in in the beginning that is may only get worse BUT everybody is different.
Love comes « easily », but maintaining love/a good relationship takes « work ». I think when it’s the right person, your love for them just comes naturally and easily, purely because you love the person they are and the things they stand for/do. Even though you love the person though, it takes effort to keep things moving and growing. It also even takes « work » (aka, effort) to maintain something good. It’s not « hard » to have a good relationship, in the sense that things seem to be natural, but it still requires effort. Honestly, IMO, the best relationships are often the ones where people put the most « work » (aka effort) in. They’re the couples that communicate, they work through tough things, etc. That’s not exactly easy breezy but it’s definitely worth it. Also, I find that sometimes, the more « work » (aka, stuff you work through) you put in at the beginning, the easier it is long-term. The people who don’t confront difficult issues or topics at the start are the ones who will break up after a year of « easy » dating. Nothing worth having will come super naturally easily all the time… it will still require SOME effort. I do believe that the things that are meant for us are the ones that are relatively easy to arrive on our doorsteps, but they’re the ones that we have to maintain and put effort towards to keep.
I’m in a relationship myself. It’s been a few months now. It was VERY easy at the beginning. It just seemed so obvious that we were compatible, and still is obvious. The difference is that we’ve had to work through some « issues » (ie, differences, communication to understand each other, etc), but it’s still relatively « easy » because we communicate so well and naturally and we both feel like it’s been really easy. We have the same desires/expectations and we’re both flexible enough on some things and we have the same core values for the other important things. It’s not like we could be together and put in zero effort though. The effort is there on both ends, it’s just that it’s a lot « easier » to love him than it would have been a guy I’m not compatible with.
spark lingers or fizzles. reciprocated spark can turn to a flame. dont tend it and see it snuffed by a small gusp of wind. show it some TLC and it might grow into a full flame. show it gasoline, and everything even remotely close to it burns to a crisp.
I think it really depends on the people, their compatibility, and how well they communicate with each other.
I’ve been in relationships that required a lot of effort to get it going and others where things just kinda fell into place like it was « meant to be » – meaning: I was comfortable around the person and able to be myself rather than keep putting on a forced facade in order to get the person to like me.
In my own experience, I think « easier » is the better option, at least in the beginning of a relationship. You shouldn’t have to force it. Once you’re in a committed relationship, though, then you should consider whether or not you still want to invest in it. Maintaining a relationship takes work from both people involved, esp considering how much people should change and evolve over their lifetimes. That’s what should take work – learning how to adapt with them.