Dating : does « stop looking for love let it find you » or love yourself before you love someone else » even fucking work
like real shit im so sick of people telling me this shit. I still have to put some sort of effort to put myself out there.
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and that love yourself shit. Ive seen people depressed as hell, not doing a goddamn thing with their lives. Talking bout they hate themselves wanna die im ugly but someone how dating someone « I love my boyfriend or girlfriend so much » happy shit oh but I GOTTA love myself. I do love myself why cant other people?
The main reason to love yourself is so that you can be happy and satisfied with life without someone else. If you’re depending on someone else for happiness then you’re going to drain the life out of them when you do find them. Also, being depressed and sad and a bum doesn’t mean you’ll NEVER find a girl but it certainly hurts your odds because people don’t want to be around that.
Chin up, man. You’ll find her eventually. Especially if you stop worrying so much about girls and just focus on having fun with your life. Girls are attracted to dudes that look like they’re having fun.
I can say for sure it **ABSOLUTELY WORK**.
* When I feel like shit, I look like shit too
* Women have an uncanny ability to pickup my vibe
* when I’m attracted to myself, women is attracted to me too
* when I hate myself (pimple, etc…) women sense my self-hatred and reflect back to me
Anyhoot, I don’t want to go on & on. But yes, it absolutely work. I’m saying this because I am experiencing this right now. You see, I’ve **lost 88 lbs** on intermittent fasting. My face went from round & chubby → sharp & chisel, my beer gut give way to solid 4 pack (working on 6), I went from size 38 relax jeans → Size 32 skinny jeans. As I lose more weight and ♥ing the way I look, the more other respond to me.
Think about it this way. If you love yourself before finding love, it shows.
It is as if a switch was flipped, you appear more confident and you learn to enjoy single life. It also helps you learn what your standards and dealbreackers are.
As for the « stop looking for love let find you », think about it this way, both men and women have this sensor almost about like it is telling everyone that you are enjoying life at it’s fullest.
Imagine this if you would…
You are walking down a street and you see an attractive person, however they don’t even glance at you. You can feel yourself get depressed.
But what if you didn’t even glance at them and was focused on work or school? Then they will probably look up.
People are naturally attracted to people who are comfortable in their own skins and enjoying life or have their priorities.
maaan im sorry im constantly posting and ranting in this subreddit I know its hella annoying i been dealing with alot of bullshit in the game recently. I’m honestly just gonna stop and focus on my hobbies. This shit is ridiculous
Only if you are good looking
I agree. It’s like waiting for a recruiter to contact you with a job opportunity. Sure, it might happen, but why not send out resumes?
Thank you for posting this! It’s getting on my last nerve the whole let love find you thing is bs or else it would’ve found me by now. Why am I still single? Clearly I still have to put myself out there the only people I know where “love” found them were people who are super attractive and guys were dying to be with them
> does « stop looking for love let it find you » or love yourself before you love someone else » even fucking work
Not if you are ‘pretending’ to do that for the sake of meeting someone, it has to be genuine. For example, if you think ‘I am going to try to love myself *so that will work in helping me meeting someone*’ – not only will that not work, it will backfire.
> Ive seen people depressed as hell, not doing a goddamn thing with their lives.
Yes, but perhaps they are super good looking (or maybe rich), so they have that going for them. They will attract people *no matter what*.
> but I GOTTA love myself.
Yeah, because you may not have other good traits.
> I do love myself why cant other people?
Do you really or are you just saying the phrase that you love yourself. Do you honor yourself and treat yourself good and feel worthy and deserving of the best that life has to offer? It doesnt seem that way based on the tone of your post – you seem angry and bitter at life and hate life (and therefore yourself).
if you do nothing, you deserve absolutely nothing.
how do you expect the basis for HEALTHY self esteem to form if you have never spent extended amount of time with yourself? desperate need to find just someone has nothing to do with dating, its actually running away from your own bullshit.
this entire thing is just a romantic way to say: deal with your baggage unless you want others to carry it for you. you radiate so much less negativity around you after you have cleared some of your personal baggage.
heres the brutal truth: no-one is eager to take on extra baggage on top of their own, so it has very very significant meaning to how folks view you
>like real shit im so sick of people telling me this shit.
Prove them wrong. Use your method and show them the advice is bullshit.
Self love is a huge asset when it comes to dating. Yeah, you might find someone decent despite loathing your very existence, but it’s far more likely that you’ll end up with someone toxic because your standards weren’t high due to you not thinking you deserve anyone good or you find someone good but they’re the ONLY good thing in your life; which causes you to act like a clingy psychopath because you don’t want to lose this person you built up as « the only good thing in my life ».
Of course, I disagree with the whole « If you’re not 100% mentally healthy all the time you don’t deserve love! » crowd. Just make sure you have your illnesses under control enough that you can be a good partner to the other person.
nah its just ways of telling people to learn to live with it.
I generally love myself and people tend to tell me that I make them happy because I give off so many happy vibes. (Which still surprises me, because as a teenager I was so full of hate) But anyway yes it really helps to love yourself. Of course you don’t need to to find love but it’s harder when you don’t like yourself.
People generally are more interested in people who are liked by others. Because if this is person is liked than there must be something good about him/her. And liking yourself is always at least one person who likes you. It is always easier to multiply if you have a start to begin with. Let this be yourself.
Also if you love yourself, you will not enter this relationship to fulfill the holes in you but you just want to continue to enjoy life and make their life better as well. It is important to love a person for who they are and not what they can give you. If you love yourself, you’re not that interested in what they can give you.
Can’t speak for everyone, but it definitely worked for me.
I know I’m super late to this post but I believe that you should always love yourself cause last time I checked I have never changed for someone I hated. And once you love yourself things that you hated about yourself start to change and you start to actively do things that are good for you and your mood will change and all this other will see which will slowly make them other like you more so in a sense love can find you if you just stop and love yourself for a moment.
It works but extremely slowly
Both do both
Legit. It does and it’s the weirdest thing ever. Happens to work that way for me every time.
It means to be the best possible version of yourself. If you don’t know how to do this then dating is the least of your worries. So, what do you want people to know you for?
Stop looking for love doesn’t mean go sit in a dingy motel room waiting for someone to knock on the door.
Just means stop trying so hard and live your life. And it worked for me.
Yes you have to put yourself outhere, the more the better. And love yourself means be a little bit more selfish, asshole and focus on your life.
Venting along, I believe it is perfectly okay to not find a lover.
I’m using this strategy myself because when I M25 start to make any advance that is remotely boasting, I get shut down for showing off.
If I act romantic, I might as well go on a date with my invisible girlfriend in my pretend-castle.
I’m also showing the funny guy side of me because when I start a funny conversation I get adorable laughs. Sure feels nice to talk about how I blew up my computer or got fired for this and that and get authentic reactions. Even when the jokes aren’t good at least then I get to know what level of humor they enjoy.
That gives you pleasant bus rides with strangers, and I don’t want to miss it, but it doesn’t get you laid.
2 years ago, i was on a no dating/don’tgiveafuckaboutgirls/foreveralone campaign, and my first gf found me
This is how it works….
you let women come to you
or give a sign of interest. then you mildly pursue. then when she’s game you go for it.
Don’t know how I came across this post but I’ve gotta tell ya….
Take advantage of this alone time, spoil yourself, get to know yourself, learn and grow, set goals, HAVE FUN.
When you finally get into that relationship you’re looking for, you’ll need to remember how you enjoyed yourself when you were all you had.
You’ll need to stay true to that person you were by keeping up with those hobbies, friends, goals, etc that you made along the way because sometimes, when you get into a good relationship you might end up spending so much time and energy on this other person that you lose yourself.
Then, you’ll probably end up losing that partner too because you just became an extension of them rather then the person they were attracted to to begin with.
Even if things work out and you marry that person or you have a baby, your time alone is history for the foreseeable future.
Enjoy yourself.
You are your only hope young skywalker.
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