Dating : Don’t want to get hurt / selfcare i guess…
So, i try to keep this as short as possible.
I (m, 24) met this girl on tinder, but shortly after realized we’re studying in the same uni and just never saw each other. Therefore, we met really fast like a week later. Two dates later we ended up in bed. So this thing went on really fucking fast. We had sex on the 4th date and we’re just really enjoying ourselves. We both really liked the situation as we were both freshly (me 6 months, she 4 months) out of a relationship.
Now, after dating for at least 4 weeks and seeing each other about 8 times, we had the talk about what this thing really is. I noticed, that i started to get some feelings for her, if not even started falling in love again… She, however, said that she needs some time and isn not ready for anything „serious“. At the same time, we’re texting each other daily, asking how or days have been, telling each other how we miss each other and so on and so forth…
I respect her feeling completely but, knowing me for being a relationship-type and not a hookup-type, I kinda struggle a bit at the moment… Do you guys have any advice on how to keep distance and „chill“ a bit in this situation? Was anyone of you in a similar situation?
Take her at her word. If you’re the kind of person who dates seriously, be that person. Don’t change how you love to accommodate where someone is at. Because clearly they’re not where you are. It’s too much work, and relationships aren’t work. They’re…..growth. Growing up is hard but it isn’t work, it’s just learning and applying.
I think you know the right thing to do is protect yourself. Maybe in a couple months you’ll suddenly feel open to casual sex or Fwb, but that’s a couple months from now, not now. Your concern for self-care is valid and this might be risky for you.
Wether you choose to end it kindly or pursue it boldly, make sure to do it intentionally. See the risk of either options and role the dice. Live with intention. That’s all we can do with the time we’re given.
i think you should tell her you are relationship person but don’t scare her abt it let her have some time to think abt it bc it also seems like you have a good thing going. i honestly think it will work out if you are just honest about where you want the relationship going.
Nope, in life you cant have the bread and eat it too ( I believe thats the saying lol)
Only way to cope that, is to date other girl, but I assume you dont want to.