Dating : The date ended badly

Dating : The date ended badly

So I told him I was only interested in someone who’s interested in me

And he basically said he doesn’t want a relationship and that he’s not a relationship and he wants only friends I said okay I get it we are on different pages and he said he just isn’t the relationship guy – I said I feel there’s something special here and I think we should explore that. He even said he agreed but he doesn’t want a relationship. I said I get it and he continued to explain he wants to be friends and all that and that I do look physically attractive. When he said that I felt like he just wants me for sex and I said “ur just in it for one thing then” and he defended himself. And finally I said we can drop this discussion bec I literally felt like he was pushing me away.

When he dropped me off he apologized if I was upset but he still wants to hang out again. I said “I do like you but I’m not interested in getting hurt down the road” and then I jus got out of the car.

I know I stayed true to myself but I really wanted him. So badly. But I can’t do that to myself, forcing something to happen so I just let him go.

Did I do something wrong or say something wrong?

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What do you think?

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  1. I think what you said was perfect and quite honestly, it’s better to get that out of the way now and know his intentions rather than you falling for him hard down the road.

  2. What I don’t understand is why people pursue a friendship after one date from meeting off a dating app? (Unsure how you two met, but i’m drawing from personal experience from dating apps)

    For me, yes, there was some compatibility and conversations that existed but i’m totally ok with being acquaintances, not friends if they’re not heading in the direction of what I’m looking for.

    I joined a dating app to look for someone to date, not be friends with.

    Don’t be so hard on yourself, you did the right thing ending it. Trust me, you’ll be pursuing someone who may never feel the same and in the end you’ll be the one hurting for it. Find yourself someone who will be equally or more on the same page as you.

  3. You absolutely did the right thing. Sounds like he was looking for a friends with benefits situation. Friends with benefits is the female equivalent of the friend zone for guys. You’d just get more and more attached to him over time, then get your heart broken later. Of course he still wants to be friends. He’s not gonna turn down free sex if he can get it!

  4. Recently had a date just like this. I hadn’t clicked with someone so well in such a long time. He even said that and felt it too. We spent the entire evening together only for him to tell me at the end of the night he just wanted to be friends and didn’t want a relationship. I wish he had been upfront about that and I could have gone in with a different mindset. I’m sorry you had to go through this. we have to just take it as a stepping stone to something much greater!

  5. You did nothing wrong. If he isn’t interested in even exploring a relationship with you, he just wants sex with no strings attached. Not the kind of guy you want in your life. Wait for someone that wants you as bad as you want them.

  6. > When he said that I felt like he just wants me for sex and I said “ur just in it for one thing then”

    You are correct, guy is only looking to get laid with minimal investment.

    > Did I do something wrong or say something wrong?

    No. Not everyone wants a serious relationship. IMO this is why you should always ask a person before the first date what they are looking for. Can they lie and say what you want to hear? Sure but majority will tell you the truth.

  7. You did everything righ. I’m going to use that phraseology about not being hurt down the road myself. I’ve heard the I want to be friends from women and even though they really just want to be friends and I like them, I know I’ll get hurt down the road.

  8. did nothing wrong at all. he wanted you for sex and got upset when you shut him down. you saw through his BS and rejected his stupid attempt to manipulate you into sleeping with him and being « FWB ».

    start being more direct in the beginning about what you’re looking for and don’t compromise. honesty and deal breaker questions saves everyone time early on. ask playfully. if they meet the criteria, move forward and hold them accountable!

    you stood up for yourself because unlike him, you respect yourself. next, please!

  9. You did nothing wrong. He was seeking a fwb. I’m ok with being friends with women I go on a date with but just friends. I don’t do fwb. It either goes in friends direction if the chemistry is not there or a relationship direction if the chemistry is there. There is no in between.

  10. You did everything right. Bravo for sticking to your standards. I wish more women would have the courage to be like you!!! We tend to give in with the hopes that they’ll change their minds on the future and it never happens and then we get hurt. They don’t care because they warned us early on – we just didn’t listen. (Seriously this just happened to me. I’m a fucking idiot) You are my hero.

  11. When someone says they do NOT want to be in a relationship, trust them. They are being honest. You did nothing wrong. They are happy w FWB and cannot give you what you are seeking. There is nothing you can do to change it, it just is. Let him (or her) go and move on for your own good.

  12. What are you looking for (apart from sex) and why can’t you get these things in a friendship with other women?

    At the end of the day, the thing which separates a relationship from a friendship is sex. If you’re not having sex with him, then it’s just a friendship. And you can have friends with anyone, male or female.

  13. You both did nothing wrong. You want something serious and he doesn’t want something serious. Perfectly fine, it just means you aren’t compatible.

  14. you did fine. this is how relationships go when things don’t work out and then you end that one and keep looking for the right match.

  15. Listen to what he’s saying. The only time you shouldn’t believe a man is if he’s sweet talking you into bed. If he’s telling you he doesn’t want a relationship, he doesn’t want a relationship. Respect him and thank him for being honest. Did you come here to be told what you want to hear? Move on.

  16. For proper advice, there needs to be more background. You left out the key detail of why you told him youre only interested in people interested in you.

    Why did you tell him youre only interested in people interested in you?

    Not to be judgemental but that sounds like a standoff statement. You may have made him feel like he had to make a decision about you right then and there. I would ask « what’s your thoughts on a relationship? » Give him a chance to talk before making a statement that involves him.

  17. Nah, you did what you felt was appropriate I guess. My only thing is he probably didn’t just want sex – why would he have went through the trouble of dating you if he just wanted to get laid? I literally secured a hookup for Sunday in less than 5 minutes with a girl I had never met. Sex is EASY to find, especially when you’re good looking and know how to carry yourself. I mean this « men only want one thing » thing is bs – it’s like me saying « women only want me for money/attention/adventures ». With some, that would be true, but there is something to be said for companionship. If you can’t separate your feelings/need to control or possess, it’s probably best if you do split ways.

  18. Yea.. he probably been hurt badly multiple times. He doesn’t know the signs of potential bad relationship anymore. He can’t risk it anymore. He needs time to heal but it may or may not happen. It’s not about you, OP. It’s this screwed up society we live in. Wish him well!! .. and good luck out there. We all deserve love! Love is beautiful!

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