Dating : Exes are exes for a reason, but…
What if the problem that made the two of you split up is resolved? Would you get back with your ex? Is it a definite no in all cases or would you make exceptions depending on what the problem was?
in Dating
What if the problem that made the two of you split up is resolved? Would you get back with your ex? Is it a definite no in all cases or would you make exceptions depending on what the problem was?
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Personally, I’m an absolute no on this. Once a break up has occurred, the trust and security is gone for good.
I don’t agree with the « exes are exes for a reason » mentality. People do change, people do make mistakes, circumstances change, etc.
Usually the reason isn’t because of a specific problem but of how the problem is dealt with.
I cant think of a problem that could just « resolve » and everything could go back to the way it was.
For example: a health problem… my last relationship ended (I believe) because my ex resented the fact that I was chronically ill and that meant that he wasnt the centre of attention. The problem wasnt my health issue it was the breakdown of communication. It was the resentment and refusal to accept things had changed. It was the fact that regardless of how bad I was feeling, he had to constantly be feeling worse than me. It was the fact that all the household chores fell on me despite neither of us having jobs.
It’s very rarely just one problem that breaks people up.
If the problem that led to the breakup resolved, yes, I’d get back.
If you had asked this question a month ago, I would have said yes. But now, it’s a resounding « Hell No! »
The thing is, you know there are insurmountable incompatibilities even when things are going well early in the relationship. Just the honeymoon period is masking them. Once that’s over, some incompatibilities can be just too much to overcome. Breaking up is good for both, even though the dumpee thinks otherwise at the time.
In my case I’ve moved on. I wouldn’t mind being friends with her, though.
For me, it was the distance. Living a time zone and multiple states away wasn’t working for us. If we lived in the same state, we’d probably be friends. But we had a rough falling out due to frustrations on both sides that had mainly to do with distance so…