Dating : Fear of things working out?!
I think I have the following problem when it comes to making the first step towards a girl (weather that’s following her on IG or sending her a message): I don’t usually think about the rejection because that’s the most likely outcome in my mind. I fear that things my work out. I fear that she might accept my request to follow her and I might have to make my next move and send her a message or respond to her story. I fear that if I do that and she responds I will need to keep doing this and eventually things might get serious. I fear things getting serious. I always ask myself “what if she agrees on a date? What do I do them?”. And I have seen other girls before, I have been on dates and have plenty of experience with this stuff. It is just the fear that it might work out is really making me not act on anything. Also I always wonder what she will think about it if she seems a message from me. Why would she want to answer to my message and not simply ignore it. This puts a lot of pressure on me and trying to come up with the best message to send seems like an impossible task. I also quite like natural progression of things and I feel like sending a message to a girl I would like to get to know better is me forcing things, and I keep telling myself that I shouldn’t force things. Am I just overthinking this and in fact is it just fear of rejection and I’m just looking for any excuse that I can find so that I don’t get rejected.
Anxiety is natural, but this is indeed a fear of commitment. Obviously, your mind is telling you that you wouldn’t feel ready to commit and that you aren’t in the mental state to do so either. What I think you should do is to put finding a romantic partner on hold until you feel comfortable with yourself and figure out your anxiety; not make it go away, just understand it and its causes/triggers. Anxiety over coming out of your shell and taking the first step is also natural to everyone, by the way, so no worries on that part. But yeah, you should consider understanding your mind before you make any sort of move. At least until the anxiety is tolerable.
This is a good step forward to take, that will add on to your experience, too, that will eventually lead to the healthy relationship that you are probably looking for, kiddo. You got this. ^^