Dating : Feeling Insecure
I (23M) have been dating an adorable man (25) for about 2 months, 6 dates. We met on Tinder as friends but approaching the 4th, 5th and finally 6th date we found ourselves cuddling, holding hands and kissing – it’s safe to say I really like the guy and he makes me feel special when I’m with him. he gifted me a crochet doll and beanie (it sounds lame but it made me so happy), he makes me laugh and smile. For the past 5 days he has been away, interstate to visit family ~ our messaging kind of fell off but I did say I’m missing you and he replied saying he misses me too, I’m so used to getting a message from him then beaming up with excitement as we made plans. All lovely and positive things it’s just
I can’t get my brain to shut up! I come from an insecure place and insecure family so I’m telling myself things like “if he isn’t messaging you he doesn’t care” “he will come back but that doesn’t mean you two days will rekindle” “he sees you as a friend” “he will find someone else”. Before this I was so easygoing I’d do my hobbies visit friends and go about my days, lately I feel home-stuck and bed-bound and upset. I know it’s irrational but I can’t seem to shake it – to add to the flame I’m questioning my gender HARD and find that this gets in the way of my intimacy, I was ready to chat to him about this when he returned but lately I’m just losing faith in myself and this situation. Does anyone else get these frustrating thoughts and feelings? Any ways of overcoming them?
Questioning gender hard sounds like a big deal. Especially if that’s not something dude is down with. I would have that talk regardless of how awkward it may seem. Just be honest. Say you’re interested in continuing things and that being said is why you feel the need to address that concern.
Have you looked into codependency? When you said being bedbound, it sounds like your health depends on this guy.