Dating : Getting too excited
I have this bad habit. I get so excited when I finally meet a guy that I’m super attracted to- because this is uncommon for me. Then I idealize them and after like 2 dates become obsessed about how great they are and want to be exclusive. Of course I don’t tell them this right away and try to play it cool. But in my mind I get so sad and stressed out knowing that they are dating and having sex with other women.
How can I chill about this mentally and be patient when I’m so excited about someone?? I’m a one-guy kind of girl, and I get very invested and only have eyes for one person when I become interested in them, but then I usually end up giving too much in the beginning of the relationship. Looking for advice on how to calm down and mentally not freak out every time this happens lol.
I used to deal with a similar problem. What helped me personally is thinking about it this way.
You may be getting excited over the IDEA of meeting someone who finally seems cool, is attractive and seems compatible with you. Maybe he’s showing boyfriend potential. It’s important to acknowledge that for now, it’s only an image you created and you don’t really know that person after a few dates.
It’s also unfair to the potential partner to set up an image he can’t live up to.
If he’s the right person for you – great. It will be better than you imagined.
Try watching some YouTube videos on dating and/or read a few books on it. It took me a while to actually change my mindset and those tools helped.
You’re not really doing anything wrong. A lot of people do this kind of thing.
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Just confront your own feelings and be ready for anything. Accept that it may not work out. And keep busy.
As a dude, if you said all of that to me I’d love it. I don’t particularly bother with women I’m not 100% attracted to (in a dating sense), so all of the above is a great way to end up banging all night and again in the morning.
I can’t guarantee a long term relationship from a date or two, since at that point we’d still probably not know each other too well, but it’s a start.
I am, however, similar in being a one girl kind of guy. You might scare off the players by telling them that. From what I understand, they’re the exciting ones.
Men don’t like cool. We love certainty where we stand with you.
Best way to do it is to focus on the things that makes your life awesome regardless of mcdreamy, because there’s a very good chance he’ll be gone soon enough anyway. On top of that, being a 1 at a time dater is seriously holding you back, if you only have 1 option it can be a lot harder to not obsess.
> How can I chill about this mentally and be patient when I’m so excited about someone??
It’s cool, for girls anyway, it’s supposed to feel like that.