Dating : Girl is playing with me
So I (25m) recently dated this girl (24f) for about 3 months.i was totally smitten with her, and she led me to believe that we were headed for a long term relationship. She then abruptly dumped me for another guy. I was completely devestated, I don’t think I’ve ever ever been more hurt by a rejection, and I’ve had people end long term relationships with me before.
After 2 months of no contact she randomly got back in touch, said that she deeply regretted what she had done and recognised it as a big mistake. The other guy had turned out to be manipulative, explosive and clingy. We met up to talk things over. She explained that had a very rough childhood, and carried some baggage from it. She said she saw me as a serious long term partner, but wanted to address her issues before entering a relationship, and suggested that we be friends and hang out in the meantime. I said I wasn’t sure that was a good idea, as I’d be paranoid and anxious that the same thing would happen again. She promised she wasn’t going to go on a dating spree and fuck a bunch of dudes after she told me she needed to get her shit sorted. I really like her, so agreed, hoping that things would work out this time.
We texted frequently over the next week, she seemed very keen to meet up. We hung out after and things seemed good. We always had great chemistry, and things seemed like they were the first time. We had a long hug at the end of the date. Over the next week her texting suddenly seemed distant.she took ages to respond and kept her responses quite short. I asked how things were going and she said she was sorta socially burnt out and and had a big few weeks at uni coming up and wanted to focus on that. Was sorta vague with when we could hang out next. My friend just sent me a screenshot of her tinder profile, explaining that she was on the app.
I’m sorta devestated again, I really wanted to believe that things were going to work out this time. But it looks like things are repeating themselves exactly as they did the first time. I get the feeling the sudden distant feeling is probably due to her talking to other guys on tinder. She has agreed to meet up this week at some point, but explained that it will depend on whether or not she can complete and assignment in time. I feel like she might have dates planned early in the week, and wants to see how they go before agreeing to meeting me again.
Has anyone dealt with a situation like this? Or perhaps has some advice to share. I’m wondering if I should confront her about the tinder account.
TL;DR: dated girl for 3 months after which she dumped me for another guy. Contacted me later saying it was a big mistake and wanted to be friends while she sorta her shit out. Said she saw us getting into a serious relationship at some point. Is now acting vague and distant and has a tinder account. Unsure how to proceed
Let her go. You’ve already seen 3 red flags, how many more do you need?
Something similar happened to a friend of mine. She was his first girlfriend. And he was kind of shy and quiet but really nice. They dated and hung out for a while but the girl was a hoe and we told him but I don’t think he cared. Well she cheated on him at a party that he showed up to at the last minute saw her flirting and just left. She got with someone else and when it didn’t work out she tried to get back with him (he really was nice to her and tried to make her happy) a little while later. The group thought this poor guy was just going to be used again, but no. He said no thanks and just ignored her as calmly as ever like turning a guy with a clipboard in front of a store. She was shocked and we were impressed. She thought she could get back with him when she wanted and that kinda shook her up a bit. I wasn’t there for the next part but she then blew up at him at a party saying you he didn’t deserve her anyway and he didn’t give a shit. Then he hits her with “ you can fuck everyone here but you’ll never get me”. She did NOT take it well and from what I heard she tried. Be like this guy realize that she isn’t worth your love, attention or money.
If your friend stole 300 dollars from you and said they were sorry would you easily forgive them probably not and if you did forgive them would you be surprised if they stole more money from you? People treat you how you want them to treat you at this point you have already told this girl you have no respect for yourself so why would you expect her to respect you
People don’t change. I mean they do, but only for themselves. That’s two strikes and in this day in age most people only give one strike. There’s millions of other girls out there for you man, stop wasting time catching feels for one who’s proven they aren’t what you’re looking for.
You are her safety net. She’ll go to you when she has no other options.
Move on, you deserve better.