Dating : Girlfriend Hits me and screams at me when she is mad. What can I do?
I have been having issues with my GF we recently broke up due to my bad behavior but are trying to work things up.
Lately I have discovered several lies she has told me during this “working things out period” i bring up the issues and she constantly gets mad and starts screaming at me while hitting me. She sometimes bangs her forehead of the dashboard in my car and opens the door in the middle of the road to get out of my car. She yells let me out. She also tells me she no longer wants to see me because she can’t get crucified for hours on end by me.
It’s true that i bring up these issues a lot. It’s due to me percieving she does not care as much. She had lied about certain guys she met on tinder that still follow her on social media despite us getting back together and working things out. She will say stuff like I just met him at work.
Whenever i bring something up she counters this is not fair you did this before and I never got to get my emotions out.
At 26 she was my first GF at 23 I was late to the game. I feel like its hard leaving her because I still care and she was good previously while i was terrible. I don’t want to start over again and be lonely while she gets immediate attention. Dating is hard and it took me a while to finally get a GF.
I flinch whenever she is in my peripheral vision and puts her hands up.
leave. this is so red flaggy. you are clearly bad for each other / incompatible.
You need to gtfo and leave her. She isn’t worth it. Both of you need to work on your problems. Who cares if it’s your first GF? There’s plenty more women out there and you’re still young.
your relationship is dead. leave, or it will get so much worse. how much worse it has to go before you understand it yourself?
you are about to find out within the following three years. your choice.
You are better lonely than in this relationship, really…
Dump her. That’s abuse. Drop her like a hot potato
There is at least a million girls out there that don’t do this shit.
Abuse is abuse whether it’s from a man or a woman. Just cause you are the man doesn’t mean you should sit there and let her take it out on you. That’s horrible and you deserve better.
I know it sucks being lonely and it sucks to see someone move on and not have any problems finding someone new, but just think, anyone she might find won’t put up with that (at least I hope not) and she’s gonna end up much lonelier in the long run. My advice. Please take time for you. « Date yourself ». Make you your number 1 and if you do that, you’re gonna find someone who thinks the world of you eventually. One who won’t make you flinch. One who will carress you instead of hit you. And tell yourself you deserve that cause Dear Lord you absolutely do.
You’re a grown man. You know no one is supposed to be hitting and abusing you let alone your girlfriend.
Just break it off and move on.
Do your selves both a favor and leave. Then work on yourself and try dating in your 30s. I didn’t date till I was 30, and I don’t regret it one bit.
shes a piece of shit and abusive. call the cops, get her on suicide watch, block her and GTFO never look back.
imagine if you were the female, and your boyfriend was beating on you? just because youre a guy doesnt mean you dont deserve respect and love.
Are you for real? Abuse is never something to be tolerated. The fact that you rather take that behavior instead of being “lonely” is beyond me. What you can do is leave, break up and never look back and go find a therapist to help you with this dependency and low self esteem. It will be hard but do you really want to be this miserable, being single should look like a blessing instead of whatever is happening in that toxic relationship.
Don’t play yourself & don’t get played. If a neighbor calls the cops b/c it’s loud the cops are not leaving w/o one of you in cuffs. Good luck dude domestic violence is no joke.
You need to get the hell out. As others are saying it’s too many red flags
Leave before you end up jailed by her manipulation.
This is straight domestic abuse. You don’t have to put up with that.
Record that shit, report it and leave that toxicity.
The first ones are the hardest to leave. You will heal, and it will be better. Staying in a toxic relationship wears down your mental and physical health.
Bro, peace the fuck out if you have any sort of respect for yourself
Hit her back
Leave dude. Getting back together is hard to do. You’ll meet someone better suited for you.
Life’s too short to be in a relationship like this. Time is something that never comes back and the longer you stay the more difficult it might get, your lives get more entangled, etc. If you want to have kids, then is this the woman you’d want to have kids with? It wouldn’t be a healthy environment for them to grow up in at all. And really you deserve better. There’s billions of women on earth, you can for sure find someone better than this.
Buddy 7 yr relationship 21 to 28 ,ex did the same things, jumped out of my moving car, punched one of my teeth out, caught her talking to other guys numerous times. Kept staying together with promises of change and cause it was easier. It never got better. GTFO. You’re wasting your life. My only regret is not leaving earlier.
CALL YOU LOCAL POLICE DEPARTMENT, ASK THEM FOR GUIDANCE. START DOCUMENTING EVERYTHING. GET A RESTRAINING ORDER.
If she turns her bad behavior around to you making you feel like its your fault for feeling bad or mad about it, Leave. No amout if reason is enough to make you stay in a verbally abusive and physically abusive relationship. Do not settle for a woman like this. Yes you may feel lonely when you guys break up but trust me, the right woman for you will never make you feel like loving you or being with you is hard. You deserve better.
GTFO n leave
This has more red flags than the soviet union on may 1st.I know its hard to leave but it will be better. Before you leave tell her that you had enough of her lies and tantrums. Just that she knows
What can you do? Leave, get therapy and never speak to this person again. Get your village around you, and focus on your next steps
Dip foo
This will end with YOU being hit with charges of abusing her. Get out now
Leave
I didn’t even bother reading this whole thing get out now
smells air: ahh toxic
In the wise words of jordan Peele, GET OUT
Okay, pump the brakes for a second. I’m going to share a little bit of personal background with you.
10 years ago I got married to a woman I thought was perfect for me. And it was just that way until the wedding ring was put on her finger. Literally, on our wedding night, she started up with the heavy drinking and verbal abuse.
She had serious trust issues, even though I’d never given her a reason to distrust me. Any chance she got no matter how small she started belittling me.
Anytime I tried to stand up for myself, she’d begin throwing anything she could get her hands on in my direction.
About the fourth time in, as I’m pulling a paperweight from the wall in order to patch up the hole, I’m considering divorce. I was raised by my grandparents and I was taught not to give up on a marriage because of some.. Marital spats.
This is of course coming from a grandmother who never once experienced an ounce of abuse and her relationship. My grandfather was a good man and wouldn’t stand for that shit. They knew how to work on things, I can’t ever once remember seeing them raise their voices at each other.
So I sought out a marriage counselor. I went to three sessions, she did not go to a single one.
As I was going to said sessions, she starts having conversations with her best friend twisting her actions against me into a form of self-defense.
So, when I came home after an 11-hour shift and just wanted to get off my feet for a while with a book – this was a cause for « self-defense. »
I literally would just walked through the door, take off my boots and name tag, sit down on the couch with a graphic novel and she would start calling me everything from a lazy asshole, to accusing me of cheating on her, even throwing a knife block at my crotch and thankfully missing.
I came out of the fourth marriage counseling sessions again sans wife when I find her standing in the parking lot with her best friend holding her wedding ring in one hand and divorce papers in the other.
Telling me *I wasn’t worth it.*
Looking back on this period in my life, I Now understand how tumultuous it was.
You *do not* need to attempt to be the bigger person and fix somebody who is obviously very broken and *does not want* the help.
Do not attempt to repair this and end up getting married in a last-ditch effort. Divorces are incredibly expensive, and they really are not worth the headaches.
Trust me when I say that the first one is always the hardest to move on from… Was with my very first girlfriend for almost 4 years, and we broke up more than half a year ago. It still hurts. But it doesn’t hurt because she’s physically assaulting me. Get out of there man, before she gets you into trouble that could ruin your life, because people like her can do that to you. Find someone who is going to actually care, and not pretend to be faithful behind your back. Life sucks, dating sucks, but you will find the right one eventually. In the wise words of Toto, « Love isn’t always on time. » So that’s something to think about, doesn’t matter if you’re whatever years old and still haven’t settled down. Better to find your true match rather than a divorce 4 years down the road. Good luck man, stay strong.
Break up with her and don’t look back. Press charges too. What she’s doing is assault. This is a no-brainier. I’m going to hit you with some tough truth: You’re acting weak, and your weakness is reinforcing that her behaviors are OK. If she does this in future relationships, she will never be with anything but weak men.
Leave woman who display negative traits. Don’t put up with it. Every time you do this all you’re doing is giving the opposite sex more power to cause harm. This goes for both men and woman (I shouldn’t have to point this out, but some idiot is bound to make shit up and assume I’m woman-hating).
This is extremely toxic and you need to get out. Let her fuck those guys she met on Tinder. Her behaviors will land her a life well-deserved.
You think /s would fix it?
And if it’s an actual problem, would us having babies fix the situation?
This sounds like an abusive relationship. Neither of you should be hitting each other or getting injured or feeling scared of being hit. This is definitely not your fault.
It’s hard to leave someone you’ve been with for so long, especially when you’ve had really good times together and she was your first, but it’s hard to pull yourself away from the fear of being lonely, and you miss all the red flags that pop up. You’re having trouble with trust, you’re bringing up reoccurring feelings that you want to resolve and you’re being attacked for it, you’re forced to deal with these extreme consequences when she’s angry. You two don’t need couples therapy. You need to leave, and she needs to find help.
If Gloria Gaynor can survive, you can, too, friend.
She’s sending many red flags: the hitting, the lying, the yelling, the self injury, etc etc
But I think you’re missing glossing over something vital. You take issue with many things, you are honest with her, and she has a negative reaction. You take issue. All these issues that you bring up to her are all signs that it would be best if you left her. You gotta think of yourself here. If you have so many issues with her, if she’s causing so many problems, you should end the relationship for yourself.
Be nice. Be thoughtful. Be caring. But you’ve got to end things with her.
alright so it seems you’ve documented most of your relationship with her and now i can definitely see why you don’t want to stop dating her. it’s because she’s pretty and you’re ugly and you feel like you won’t ever get a gf as pretty as her. do you really want someone that has the looks of a 8,5/10 but her personality is like a 1/10, she cheats on you, abuses you. do you really want that? leave her, find someone that respects you and treats you right. it’s not worth it to stay just because she looks good.
Okay, so you’re in a relationship with someone who causes them self harm causes you harm, threatens you, lies to you, manipulates you, and doesn’t let you express yourself.
Any one of those is a massive red flag, Gtfo asap.
you’re staying in a bad relationship because you’re frightened you won’t get another one? I can tell you from personal experience, a bad relationship is much more destructive than being alone.
And after reading some of your comments here, you seem to be making a lot of excuses to stay in a bad situation, ultimately the decision is going to be up to you but there is going to be a point where you won’t be able to take anymore. The sooner you get out the better you’ll be.
Thats called domestic violence. You record evidence of it and present it to the police.
Dont call them when shes actually committing as due to our fucked up laws(assuming youre in the US) theres a good chance they arrest you.
Liars hate truth
100% abuse.
This is not love and never will be.
It is not your responsibility to fix it.
You will achieve nothing but waste time and damage yourself irreversibly by staying.