Dating : Guys: What makes a girl considered NOT « girlfriend material » in your mind?
I’m 27 year female and I’m curious about this topic. I see posts that are about what guys want in a girlfriend, but not to many that are the opposite.
in Dating
I’m 27 year female and I’m curious about this topic. I see posts that are about what guys want in a girlfriend, but not to many that are the opposite.
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Deep insecurities and an unwillingness to communicate what’s bothering them.
So many things that might be different for every guy.
– Cheating and lying
– Substance abuse and dependency issues
– Talks poorly about others behind their back
– Holds others to higher expectations than themselves
– Poor mental health and little desire to fix it
– Poor communication/Expects people to just know what the problem is
– Low self-control and awareness
There’s probably more but this covers most of it.
Being hot and cold and not respecting my time and scheduals agreed on.
And when in a relationship, not careing how I feel, or how her actions or words could make me feel. Not being able to comunicate.
Rudeness. Not just towards me but if they are rude to servers and other people for no reason. Automatic goodbye. Toxicity and negativity is a no. Also being super controlling or insecure to the point that saying hello to someone could start a fight. All bad news.
She doesn’t respect me when I’m kind to her but responds positively when I’m an asshole.
I don’t want to be with anyone long-term who I feel like is making me a worse person through positive reinforcement.
Not being trustworthy, not being able to communicate, partying way too much, doing drugs, not being able to have a conversation (nvm a deep one), not being kind and respectful, not being affectionate, being averse to learning, not having good hygiene.
There’s obviously many more things but I got tired.
Too much partying/drugs. Not having any kind of career. Having an unusually messy home. Sexual incompatibility. Being high-maintenance.
Idk dude, if she’s made of polyester she’s probably not the right material
Someone who is too wild(I’m in my 30s). I once had a FWB situation with a girl that I actually liked quite a bit. She was great in bed, was fun to hang out with, made me laugh all the time. Everything I did with her was fun.
But she was way too wild for me. She and her roommate(another female) had an OnlyFans they used to help pay the bills, and she would often send me her nude pics and videos (just her, not her roommate). And anytime she wasn’t at work, she always seemed to be either high(weed), drunk, or both.
As much as I liked her, my brain could not see her as a long term partner. I just couldn’t see myself growing old with her or having a family with her. She eventually moved away for a much better paying job. I still think about her sometimes, though I don’t necessarily regret not dating her. I don’t judge her for her lifestyle. I just didn’t want it for myself.
Entitlement or a Princess complex
If someone treats people in the service industry poorly for no reason or for a mistake that is out of that persons control, that’s a big NOT gf material for me. It might be random but I can’t stand people who are rude to others for things out of their control or small mistakes.
I’ll bet after a while, when you have plenty of answers, if you put all of them together you won’t have many common traits among them.
As such, it’s all just about finding the guy who considers you girlfriend material.
Toxic personality. Physically/emotionally unavailable/too busy to hang out. Unable to relate to that person. Playing weird mind games with me. Smoking/drinking. Being too bent on politics.
A big one is women who use sex as a bargaining chip. In general women who bring nothing to the table except (often mediocre) sex and cheaper rent to a relationship are not really girlfriend material.
Materialism is also a big turn off for me. I’m not talking about enjoying getting flowers now and then. I’m talking about people who can ONLY acknowledge affection when there is some sort of gift or transaction involved. Dating someone whose only « love language » is gifts is often just barely a step above just getting a prostitute.
If she is interested in me then she has abysmal taste, which is a deal breaker
So I guess we are talking about things that elevate her from hookup to girlfriend material? So things like attraction and hygiene would be given. This is highly personal. For me it would be: No sense of humour, not at least somewhat intelligent, can’t take care of herself, not open minded and into experiencing new things,not kind and compassionate, she likes drama and gossiping, history of cheating or boyfriend-hopping, extreme political views in either direction, previous sexual or romantic encounters with any of my friends or family
Opposing political beliefs; definitely become far more important in the last few years. Gone are the days of « Agreeing to disagree » for the most part (at least in relationships).
History of erratic behavior/mood swings; jumping from relationship to relationship with no breaks.
Also… Being cruel. And I don’t just mean in the mainstream copy pasta « Don’t be sexist, racist, homophobic etc »; how you treat your enemies is just as important as how you treat your friends to me. If you generalize everyone who disagrees with you as « Evil » and constantly talk about bad things happening to them; I’m already looking for an exit route.
Humbleness is a big one for me. If she’s cocky, rude or condescending with others, it’s an automatic no.
Insecure narcissistic materialistic etc but whats really a deal breaker for me is if she cheated in her past cuz once U a cheater will always be a cheater
Wtf with some of these answers lol.
Also the same as if I was looking for a friend. I dont think a relationship dynamic should be any different. I dont judge my friends for petty things. I just am looking for a solid connection.
Being a flake, also unresolved Daddy issues that are used to rationalize herself as a victim in all things.
Already having a boyfriend.
Honestly a girl that never reaches out if I’m the only one making an effort then gtfo
There are wide variety of reasons why a guy may not feel a woman is girlfriend material.
Her looks, personality, lifestyle habits, how she carries herself, the people she associates with, how she interacts with him and his inner circle, their sexual compatibility, circumstances, and overall timing.
Other factors such as if he’s is still into his ex or this is a long distance might make him not view this a potential serious relationship.
Everyone has their own mate selection screening process and « must haves list ».
A « turnoff » for one guy is a « turn on » for another guy.
In order for *him* to be « the one » *he* would have to see *you* as being « the one »
At the very least a « soulmate » is someone who actually wants to be with you!
*** »If someone wants you in their life, they’ll put you there. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. »*** – Anonymous
Best wishes!
A lack of respect for boundaries, anti-intellectualism/anti-science, far right political ideology, and abusive tendencies. I have no problem dating someone with different hobbies or interests, but if we can’t have mutual respect and an understanding of facts being facts, I will leave that situation.
Smokes, uses drugs, up for hookups, a political nut job (e.g. « If you voted for Trump/Biden/etc you’re a terrible person. »), has an entitled personality, egotistical, the jealous type, petty, uneducated, chronically unemployed.
If a girl can’t keep it real I’m out. Like open communication about feelings and also talking about life. As someone who’s almost an open book the more hesitant a girl is to reveal who she is the less attractive she is regardless of how pretty she is.
It’s like trying to buy a car but not being able to test drive it out of the parking lot.
Also I think « showing up » is a big deal breaker. You’d be surprised how many girls don’t keep in touch or go out of their way to make time for you.
I chased girls for years and always got the same results – nothing.
I love girls and can’t wait to find my soulmate and start a family but my days of wasting time are over.
If she listens to country music