Dating : He wants to kiss me but he won’t?
So I’ve (23F) been seeing this guy (30M) for a bit. We talk every day, have been on about 4 dates, and I have gone to his house to hang out/watch Netflix several times. One time after I left his house he texted me and asked if I’d wanted him to kiss me. I told him that I wasn’t just sitting there hoping that he would but I would have welcomed it if he did. I wasn’t sure really what to think about that conversation but I had more of an expectation that he would kiss me after he brought it up. We’ve hung out several times since then and nada.
I also worried that my response might have made him feel like I didn’t want him to kiss me so I have tried to be a little more flirtatious or give him more opportunities to since then. We cuddle a lot and there have been a handful of times when I thought he was going to but the most I’ve gotten has been a kiss on the head.
We hung out tonight and he later texted me to say ‘I have a lot of willpower resisting the urge to kiss you’ and I said ‘well why don’t you 😂’ He told me that he didn’t want to rush things. Now I don’t think there’s anything wrong with taking things slow, but I was a little offput by that for some reason. We talked a little more about it and ended by me saying ‘well I kind of had wondered why you hadn’t so it’s nice to know’ and he told me ‘I mean you’re allowed to make the first move too’ and then he went to bed. Which, fair, I could, but I definitely lack the confidence to make first moves so that’s not going to happen.
Anyway, here’s the rant: I don’t feel like kissing me at this point would be going too fast at all, and I think I’ve made it very clear that I would like him to kiss me. But now I’m really annoyed because now I feel really weird about that topic altogether. I haven’t talked about having a first kiss with someone prior to actually doing it since I was in middle school and if he wants to kiss me then like just fucking do it don’t talk about it and make it weird. I feel like there’s almost more pressure around it now and that’s bothersome to me because I don’t want him to feel like he has to kiss me simply because I want him to, or that he has to restrain himself for whatever reason. The little bit that we talked about it really kind of talked the subject to death and I almost don’t want to kiss him anymore at all. I feel like discussing it in that way and especially over text is very immature and I expected a little more since he is so much older. I am absolutely okay with taking things slow, but he could have just told me that he wanted to go slow without having to put so much into kissing to do it. So yeah, I just feel weird and kind of confused about it all, but I guess we’ll see