Dating : How do I meet women without Tinder/online dating?
Hi guys, I’m basically at a loss. I’m a guy in my early 20s and I’ve never had a girlfriend or been on more than one date. I’ve tried Tinder and all the other online options but they didn’t work out for me. I’m not the type to go clubbing and most of my hobbies don’t involve women. As summer approaches I can’t help but feel a little depressed about being single, especially when all of my friends are dating or in a long term relationship.
Find activities and communities which has same interests as you do. Eventually youll step upon a nice girl which my be interesting for you. Wait a little to find out if there is a boyfriend and if she wants relationship, hang out together. When you think the time is right, ask her out.
Personally i think this is better way than all the bullshit Tinder and online dating things, because the fact that you are present in the places you find interest on, is implying you will find a girl which has the same interests, and the chance of that relationship to be good is high. Both of your lives are converging as long as you go to more places…
Get a very social hobby like rock climbing or Jiu-Jitsu. You’re in your early 20s so this is the perfect time to start. Get good at it. Eventually you’ll stand out among people who are just beginning. It’s not an easy path, but sharing a hobby automatically gives you and the other person a reason to hang out. I find that girls talk to me at my gym pretty often because I’m above average at rock climbing, even though I’m below average in looks. Being physically fit stands out, but I think taking time and effort to dedicate yourself to something is equally attractive.
Side note: Even if zero girls approach you for like a year. If you find something you can enjoy on your own, it makes being single a little more bearable. You might not be in love with a girl, but you’ll be in love with a hobby and a little more in love with yourself.
There is no good solution. For example i joined the rock climbing club in university. There was one girl there i partnered with and we would climb together. She had a boyfriend and has zero interest in me. I climbed for a year which was fun but i never got a single date out of it.
That’s the reality of trying to get girls if you’re not immediately attractive. Doing these sorts of things is incredibly high investment and low yield.
Best approach is to spam hundreds of girls to find the 0.1% that will put up with you. That means loads of work online or if you grow the balls loads of cold approach IRL.
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Don’t be so quick to hop into a LTR so young. Focus on being a competent man. Successful at work in a way that satisfies you (and your bank account) and a strong body you can be proud having a memory of when you get old. Fact of the matter is, most of the women you encounter won’t be worth your investment. They may be fun to go on dates with or have sex with, but that’s about it. Most are just as lost or more lost and fucked up than you are. Most women are a simple recipe. For a toxic relationship add 2 parts good intentions from both parties, 1 part bad attitude/low self esteem from her and stir in money from your pocket to keep it from boiling over. Until they make you go broke, hate relationships and want to be free or lock you in with a kid.
Tl:DR – be the kind of guy that doesn’t have to post to Reddit for relationship advice and focus on success. Leave women on the back burner for occasional sex until you’re in your 30’s.
Just my 2 cents
As someone who was very undesirable when I was in my 20s, changing how you meet women doesn’t change anything.
I’m not saying be someone you are not. I’m also not saying the person you are right now is appealing.
Women are very different than men. You need to learn how, get your game together, and try and fail at dating along the way.
Imthe name of the book that is a solid start is “models.” Mark Manson. I also like a book “ Open Her.” “The way of the superior man” is often mentioned. A more controversial one is called “mating grounds.”
Get busy working on you!
There’s basically no wrong way too meet a woman. There are wrong women to meet. I put myself out there quite often – it’s become a hobby/obsession of mine. Honestly meeting them is the least of your worries; finding someone you’re compatible with, maintaining attraction – these are skills of note. I’m honestly not sure how most guys in relationships do it besides getting extremely lucky or having an award-winning *something*. I meet and seduce often, and I’m a pretty sharp guy… 3 relationships to date (plus one really messed up situationship) and I still have no idea. Okay, some idea, but it definitely takes two.
Summer is THE time to be single, my friend. Just go outside and do physical activities in public places. Talk to people, LOTS of people.
Improve yourself physically, mentally and financially. Learn game. Approach women during the day.
Go outside… Women are ubiquitous.
Sadly clubbing is the main thing. Find interests that connect you with other people, get into their friend circles and find women that tickle your fancy
Clubs are stupid. Try church, the bookstore, and work.
You are not the only one