Dating : How do you get past the fact that your Gf is close friends with an ex?

5 Comments

1. A close ex is like a dick in a jar. In case of emergency break glass.

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2. Sure it can be, but if you don’t trust her, why be with her?

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3. There’s a lot of weird comments on this sub when it comes to this stuff.

   I’m male and my BFFs is my ex (dated for 2 years, have known each other for 11).
   It’s definitely an issue to work through with a partner, and I fully expected insecurity and bad vibes from my partner when I first brought it up. It takes some time to work through too. You have to create an open dialogue about it and allow your partner to voice their insecurities and provide reassurance. This is also an issue that will fluctuate over time. Both partners should fully expect the insecurity or overthinking to come and go over any amount of time, even years. Don’t allow for shame to keep you from talking about this with your partner, that will lead to resentment and distrust. I think you both have to be on the same page about this.

   If your GF doesn’t acknowledge that this is going to be some work and doesn’t want to meet you halfway on things I’d be concerned. Otherwise just focus on the open dialogue and focus on seeing her ex as her friend and potentially your friend, although you shouldn’t expect yourself to force yourself to be friends with him if you don’t want to or don’t see him as friendship material. Don’t always use the ‘ex’ label in your head, you need to change it to ‘friend’ otherwise you’re keeping her and him in a box in your head.

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4. Don’t allow it

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5. You get over it by not being in a relationship with that kind of person.

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