Dating : How do you lower your standards while also dating people you are attracted to?
So…people give this advice a lot:
Dont date someone if you arent attracted to them. But then also tell someone to lower their standards in dating appearances if they want to get a date.
If I lower my standards then I’m moving away from what I find attracted to and settling for something that I am not, right? But this is bad because dating someone if u arent attracted to them is cruel.
How do u balance the two?
Edit: a word
Pick two not three.
Say you’re into tall, dark, and handsome. Sure you can occasionally find someone with the trifecta, but when you settle for two of the three, you’re giving yourself a better chance.
Another thing to point out though is someone can be attractive to you and still not be compatible. I just learned that over the summer after seeing someone and realizing we had almost no chemistry.
Either improve yourself to the level you want to date, or lower yourself to the level you can date now.
True! Same question here
Is doing what your doing now working? Does the standard you seek equal you?
Its Called thinking with your genitalia. This is not something a good person strives to achieve.
Man, I’m in the same boat. Dating this dude that is such a gentleman, I’ve never experienced anyone like him and I love it, but at the same time I’m not attracted to him. He’s not my type on the outside, but, damn, on the inside he’s everything I’ve ever wanted. It’s fucken hard. He asked me to be his GF, but I don’t want to get into another serious relationship at the moment and I’ve expressed this to him several times. His response has been great. He says that he’ll wait for me and that I’m all his because he really wants me. He’s never turned into that « jerk » mode after rejection and c’mon, we a know how after rejection a man can turn into a total douche, but he hasn’t. He’s remained the same sweet good dude. I want to continue dating him because I have developed some butterfly feelings for him, but when I think about if I see myself living the rest of my life with him it’s a hard NO.
I don’t want to break his or anyone’s heart so now I’m stuck….
Or not date anyone at all because your just not going to get your standards to like you. That the choice.
If you arent physically attracted to them then it will never work. Unless personality goes a long way for you.
I decided to give women who were slightly less attractive than my standards were set at least one date to see if we get along or they are cuter in person or whatever. Don’t settle and start dating someone because you arent having any luck. You’ll find a good one eventually. Just work on yourself (job, body, etc) and maybe put yourself out there more (you’re a woman, if you aren’t approaching guys maybe give it a shot. Start the convo first. See if they are nice etc…a lot of us guys are shy and will never make the first move or even pick up hints that you’re interested in us…we cant read minds and some of us dont know how to chase or arent interested in chasing…
Are you male of female?
In the end, attraction is not a choice. But at he same time you can have too many « checkboxes » that people just aren’t going to pass on all of them. You can can reduce the checkboxes.
What would you like more? A 10 who has nothing to offer you or a 7 who is mildly attractive but gives you the world? Fact is you know what you want. Advice like that is given because it’s usually a biased opinion.