Dating : How many people do you approach or try to talk to every day?
I’m thinking about the concept of simply talking to girls more, as a sort of way to put myself out there more. I think out of the hot girls that I pass by during college, or that are in my class, I’ll only ask out someone that has obvious signs that they might be interested. And similarly, if I see a hot girl in my class, or out and about or something, I won’t go out of my way to talk to her unless we’re by each other, or by circumstance we just happen to strike a conversation. Like if you don’t at least make a lot of eye contact to with me, or make an overt effort to acknowledge my existence, then I kind of assume that you’re not interested and don’t try to talk to them.
On the other side if I’m talking to a girl that I like, and there aren’t any obvious signs that she likes me, then I’ll just assume she doesn’t like me. The only problem with this is, what if I miss something, and don’t talk to that one girl who I think is cute simply bc she’s not screaming it, would this cost me in the long run, perhaps missed opportunities.
For example there was this one girl that sat behind me, didn’t even think anything of her, thought she was alright but didn’t think it was worth it to talk to her, bc there’s no obvious signs, and like why would she like me. Well one day the professor says turn to a partner to discuss a topic, and I noticed that we both didn’t have someone to talk to, and as soon as we had a conversation there was a click, we had a lot in common, and there was a spark.
What I’m kind of getting at is if I should just talk to any girl who I might want to get to know better or think is attractive, or should I just keep doing what I’m doing, and play it safe. I’m not gonna go on a rampage of asking people out, but maybe now I might start approaching girls in conversation for no reason, and see how that works out.
Idk what do you think?
Usually the other way of doing things equates to maybe 1 or 2 people a semester being interested in me/going out, but the good thing about this technique is that it’s pretty effective, and I haven’t gotten rejected (at least initially). The other way is more risky I guess.
The chances are way much higher to actually get a date from a girl that you meet in real life but the situation where you can talk to them arent that many. Atleast thats what ive been told by some girls and people on the internet. The idea is that on the internet girls generally dislike men more as they have a bigger spectrum they can be picky from.
If you got the confidence to do it, do it. I even avoid buying outside the internet to dodge social anxiety.
> On the other side if I’m talking to a girl that I like, and there aren’t any obvious signs that she likes me, then I’ll just assume she doesn’t like me. The only problem with this is, what if I miss something, and don’t talk to that one girl who I think is cute simply bc she’s not screaming it, would this cost me in the long run, perhaps missed opportunities.
Basing on my experience as guy who approach girls that didn’t give me signs of interests before I approached them – yes, you will miss a lot of opportunities by playing too safe. Just be polite and not pushy, give up when girl give you signs that she is not interested.
As a girl, I’d say to talk to more girls! Just be friendly, and try not to come on too strong and make sure they can easily and comfortably leave the conversation/situation if they want to. But dating is a bit of a numbers game; the more people you talk to, the more likely you are to find someone compatible. One of my guy friends is super personable/cheery/chatty, without being overly attractive, he’s constantly initiating conversations with literally everyone and he has good success with it. I don’t think he’s looking for a relationship but he gets a lot of dates/hookups.
Lately, I try to talk to every woman I see. My goal is to talk/approach 5 women/day, not with the idea that anything is gonna happen, just for the practice of approaching and saying something (usually just a compliment).