Dating : How on Earth do I find « The one » as an introverted gamer guy?
I spend most of my time indoors gaming, away from the rest of society, the only time I really leave my house is to go to Comic Cons, card shops, museums, amusement parks etc I pretty much only leave my house for « events » that excite me. I’m the friend that’s always down to try something new as long as it doesnt sound boring. I just dont go clubbing or chill at bars which is how most people find their significant others it seems, I’m just not that kind of person. I’ve been lead to believe I’m a fairly attractive guy based on comments I’ve received and that I’ve been asked out on several different occasions, but my problem is I tend to attract people who dont even lead remotely similar lifestyles to me. The last thing I want is to be the partner to a girl who complains that « HE PLAYS VIDEO GAMES TOO MUCH » so I’m looking for someone more like me; a nerd.
I’ve had no luck on dating apps like OkC, Match etc. Most of the people who « like » me on those apps have glaring red flags. Which for me isnt many things… but I’ve had people like me when my bio says « IM A GAMER » and then in their question responses, they say that they would not date someone who games for more than 2 hours a day LOL. So with dating apps being mostly useless to me, I’ve been advised to « check nerdy places like book stores, and cons » and idk… it feels a little wrong to go to those places specifically looking for a date? I doubt the girl who shows up at the book store to pick out a few good reads is going to appreciate being hit on. I’ll give it a shot, but I thought I’d come here for more advice before doing so, but I’m pretty sure the girls I’m looking for are doing the same exact thing I’m doing: Hiding away from society in their bedrooms while gaming haha
I think the average girl gamer or nerd has to hide because of how thirsty and desperate the gamer guys behave.
even though most gamer guys think it would be awesome to find some game girl that they like, in fact, this isn’t necessarily the case.
your extreme interest in gaming all the time, needs to be tempered with someone who doesn’t game all the time, but still likes you.
if you can accept that, then you can find girls all around you, who aren’t just into as much gaming as you are, but would like to date you and be your gf.
I’m going to cut through a little of the fluff here and hit you with some information regarding misconceptions you seem to have about normies:
Most people don’t necessarily meet their SO « clubbing » or « chilling at bars ». Some people do, for sure, but these tend to be more fleeting interactions. Additionally, your claim that people have a hard time limit on how much their SO plays video games is dubious at best.
Gaming can be a social hobby in tight circles. the woman that you claim you’re attracting are the women that you’re going to find that match your personality the closest, as they’re also naturally gravitating towards similar hobbies.
Your options are pretty simple:
1.) stop putting « I game all day » in your bio. Regardless of if it’s true or not, women of all walks are likely to dismiss pretty quickly. Even women who do game. There’s a balance.
2.) get outside and away from the screen every so often. It doesn’t even need to be that much. For me it was biking a few days a week. That will help you meet people tbh – cycling clubs are in every major city.
The best way to meet women is through the concept of Propinquity – if you’re near someone and on a similar daily cycle to that person you’re going to seem more attractive than someone randomly on the street who’s untouchable.
Engage in something more social and people will be there. Gaming can be social, but the limitations are built in since body language and the touch barrier are nearly impossible to relay digitally.
OP I’m the same as you, I’m 24 and I spend most of my time alone. I don’t really enjoy going to clubs or coffee shops or social gatherings, but when I swipe on dating apps the only people who tend to like me are dramatically different from what I’m interested in. Like you, I’ve been told I’m a pretty handsome person, but I tend to attract exclusively people who I either don’t find attractive at all or people who I’m not interested in remotely.
A few months ago I thought I had met someone really special but they ended up just wanting someone for casual sex, we tried dating but she hated commitment so she decided that we can’t even be friends anymore. So now I’m back to my old ways of just staying at home and playing video games in my spare time.
I’ve considered trying new things like going on hikes and taking a solo road trip to somewhere new. It’s hard because I work 12-hour shifts at night, so it’s hard to really enjoy the outside world when your wake cycle is 5PM – 9AM, but I’m getting ready to leave this job for something different. I think changing my hours will open up options for me to experiment with being social so I’m going to try.
I wish us both luck, my friend.
No disrespect, put the controllers down and go out to meet people. I’m sure you could even find Personals ads online for introverts. The introversion is something you can work on. As far as the video games, you have to manage your time with the things that are most important to you taking priority.
No such thing as « the one » my friend. And damn sure not on a dating app.
Regarding approaching women, you honestly just have to get over thinking she doesn’t want attention. Don’t even think about it. As soon as you find someone you like, dont even give yourself time to second guess yourself. If she doesn’t want your attention, she can open her mouth like an adult and tell you, at which point it is on you to accept the rejection gracefully and move on.
Unfortunately, dating nowadays is little more than a numbers game. There is A LOT of trash that you’ll have to sift through to find someone of value, but the first step is to actually talk to women you like. I’m an introvert too, so i understand the struggle. You just gotta put the games down every now and then and just get out there. Good luck brother.
Introverted gamer guy here too also experiencing the same struggles, minus the being attractive part and I also don’t go out to conventions or anything as they don’t really interest me.
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OP: Have you tried the dating app Kippo? It’s a dating app for gamers. Though when I tried going on it, it was very difficult to find girls I was attracted to (I was probably swiping right 5% of the time, maybe even less, compared to swiping right 60-70% of the time on Tinder/Bumble)
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To be honest, when I go on to Twitch and see lots of attractive gamer girls, those are the ones I’m interested in meeting but I have no idea where they are. They’re either blended into the normal Tinder crowd and don’t advertise that they are a gamer, or are just hiding indoors gaming.
>I’ve had no luck on dating apps like OkC, Match etc. Most of the people who « like » me on those apps have glaring red flags. Which for me isnt many things… but I’ve had people like me when my bio says « IM A GAMER » and then in their question responses, they say that they would not date someone who games for more than 2 hours a day LOL.
You really remind me of myself from 2 years ago. While I’m currently single, I did end up dating someone wonderful I met on a dating app for nearly 1.5 years, and it only ended due to extreme external circumstances out of our control.
Given what you all said in your post, I think you can find someone on the apps. You seem like a very interesting dude who’s got his life together, and is just lookin for a player 2. It’s always hard to find someone through the apps, and left swipe after left swipe will drain your sanity, but it’s possible.
In addition to the other social activities you are getting into or thinking of getting into, I’d recommend using one or 2 dating apps for just a few minutes a day or so. Personally, I’ve found that CmB gives me the best ratio of matches made to time spent on app, although I do live near a large city, so mileage varies.
You don’t
It’s over buddy boyo. Just LDAR.
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