Dating : How should I ask her out?
Hey everyone! I met this girl at work in a meeting yesterday, it was just the two of us and it was the first time we have met each other. It was never my intention to flirt (I had no idea what she was like or what she looked like) but I was instantly attracted to her so just went for it.
Things, at least from my point of view went well, I was making her laugh, she was playing with her hair at times when I did make her laugh and we generally chatted around the work project and got to know each other. Found out we’re the same age, education level and like the same sort of activities etc etc. When she left the meeting she said to keep in touch…
Are these all signs that she’s attracted to me? I’m thinking of asking her out for drinks sometime but not sure of the best way to approach, in my head I have 4 options;
(1) call her on her work phone and ask her out for a drink;
(2) find out where she sits (big organisation with 1000’s of prople), go up to her and ask her out for a drink;
(3) try to set up another work related meeting and build up to asking her out, this does seem somewhat creepy and would probably put her off?;
(4) wait until I bump into her, which could be today, tomorrow, next week or never, the organisation is that big..
I’m inclined to, and my gut is telling me to just call her work phone when she’s available (we have an internal Skype system) and just follow up saying thanks for the great meeting and straight up ask her.
Any advice is much appreciated!
Don’t shit where you eat.
Is there a work IM? you can message her there
Email her. As a girl I’d prefer that option if I was in that scenario
FACE TO FACE….. ASK OUT… NO EXCEPTIONS
Before asking her out seriously consider how much you like your job. You may not barely ever see her now but there is always the possibility that can change and if things go poorly it could make work miserable. I once asked out a girl I worked with. Needless to say things ended badly and it led to me quitting my job. It was only a part time college job so whatever but still. If this is something that doesn’t bother you then go for it. Hopefully everything works out
First thought is to take this time to make a new friend while you are coworkers – if something in the future happens and you’re no longer coworkers then I would say go for it! I would heavily advise against trying to date coworkers – regardless of how far away you sit, etc..
However, if you choose to ignore the top – Absolutely do not use email or work IM – these are recorded and could cause issues that are HR related if the feelings are not reciprocated. Find her and ask her in person to help you plan and co-host a happy hour somewhere next week – if she helps you plan as a co-host then its a much better chance she will actually be able to make it! For example – remember that episode of How I Met Your Mother when Ted planned 4 parties in a row because Robin kept not being able to come?
So either don’t do it at all or do it that way. I chose the group setting because asking out a coworker directly can also lead to HR issues.
Good Luck!
Do what she said, and keep in touch. Reach out, either in person, or work communications. Whatever easier for you. If she turns you down, no harm, move on. See if there’s someone that knows her, so maybe you know what to ask, unless you already know.
GL
Don’t ask to hang out RIGHT AWAY
make the contact and conversation, if she asks great! If not see if she wants to get Lunch first, that way it can be seen mutual and while on lunch have an event you want to do in mind. Bowling, Art, whatever and on lunch if you still feel the same Vibe ask her to do that. If she does great! if not great! you will know either way! and Lunch Honestly can be easy and you can pay, or let her pay (you better pay bro) and just let it be smooth.
I want a follow up 🙂
Open up your IM, “hey, what’s your plan for lunch, wanna grab a bite together?” Close it and keep working
I agree with those who caution against dating a co-worker. I’ve done this twice, if it goes well, it’s great, but if it doesn’t work out, it can be awkward and very uncomfortable. I don’t recommend it, but do what you want. I hope it works out for you.
I don’t think you have enough evidence that she likes you.
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