Dating : How to initiate (sex)
Ok, I meet this girl on tinder, we were hanging out 3 times till now. Today she comes to my place to watch a movie together. What is the « best » way to initiate sex? Caress her arms and then advance to tights and then to the centre of the universe? Just grab her and kiss her without testing (to see if she is for sex) first? How do you initiate with a girl who you meet? I am just looking for some ideas.
Leave the door unlocked, and lay in bed naked.
Just ask. Consent is the sexiest.
The last guy I dated would lean down and say « Do you want me inside you? » Gave me shivers galore, and he always knew I was totally into our banging.
Ez pz steps
1. Start kissing
2. Start touching her (ya know her boobs going down in her pants slowly)
3. Start doing stuff down there
4. Start undressing her
If she at any step backs down STOP!
It always starts with kissing. You’ll know when she wants to keep going further because her body language will change as it goes on.
Tell her that she is a suitable mate and you would like to engage in fellatio, then whip out a consent form for her to sign, have a friend who is a notary pop out of the closet when she is signing to witness it. Then you sign yourself, and the notary signs it. This is to ensure she can’t press false rape charges against you if things go south.
Female perspective here.
Have you guys kissed yet?
1. If you haven’t kissed yet, gonna assume that she might start off by sitting next to you but maybe a bit distant. After you turn on the movie, this is when you reposition yourself to sit close to her and have an open body language that suggests she can lean on you while watching the movie.
Another option is after you turn on the movie, scoot on over next to her and place your hand on her thigh. If hand is on thigh, after a couple of seconds, put your arm over her and scoop up her hand (your hand is under hers). Using your thumb, kind of feel/massage her hand (basically, just play with her fingers/hand) – do this while keeping your eyes on the movie.
Obviously, take a glance to see how she responds. If she’s scowling or smiling. Scowling = stop. Small smile = good. Expressionless = ???
2. If you’re unclear about how comfortable she is, engage in conversation. You can say something playful like, « Hope you don’t mind me holding your hand. » If she smiles = good. Even better if she giggles/retorts with something witty (unless the witty retort is something along the lines of « dude, wtf do you think you’re doing).
3. Then start moving towards her hips. Massage/touch her from her knee to her hip. In other words, touch with intention. Again, you want to gauge for her reaction. If you can’t tell whether she wants to/likes it, you can say, « Just want to check-in that you’re feeling comfortable. I don’t want to cross any boundaries if you’re not ready. » If she smiles and says it’s fine, this is when you can go for a kiss. Usually, when a guy puts his hand on my cheek, that’s a pretty good signal that it’s about to happen.
4. You go in for the kiss. If it’s the first kiss, you can pull back and smile if it went well. Then you can go in for another, and escalate to a makeout session if she’s comfortable with it.
5. If at any point you’re feeling unsure whether she feels comfortable, you can check in with her and ask her how far she’d like to take it because you don’t want to do anything she doesn’t want you to do. Actually, cross that. Just check in with her before escalating and ask her if she’s feeling comfortable, because you don’t want to do anything that she doesn’t want you to do; and that if at any point she feels uncomfortable, to let you know and you’d be happy to stop.
Don’t forget to document consent both before and after.
I PM’d you the instructions
My advice would be to not initiate sex. It should be a pretty mutual thing. If you have to contemplate how to initiate sex then you shouldn’t be having sex.
If you can learn to never expect sex and instead work on seduction/romance, you will be much better off.
You seem a low-effort person if you can’t be bothered to find content on the Internet about this question. Just be sure the articles are written by women, explaining what they want.
31 (F) here. In my honest opinion, don’t initiate. Let her make the first move. It would make me uncomfortable if a guy started kissing me or touching me without me giving any signs. This might not go for every female, but I would feel too pressured. My last bf and I were watching a movie together on his bed, just cuddling. The fact that he waited for me to move closer to him and turn towards him before he kissed me made all the difference in the world and showed he was waiting for a sign, no matter how small a gesture. However, if we were just cuddling and he started touching or trying to kiss, then it’s a turn off. My personal experience and opinion
1. be alone
2. be in a decent enough environment – and assure she’s comfortable
3. touch leg, hands
4. feel leg, hands, shoulders, back
5. rub.back, shoulders, hands ,legs (3 through 5 is practically the same just intensity increasing)
6. kiss… honestly I don’t kiss on lips first I go for, hand, arm shoulder, neck, cheek, forehead, lips last… It’s a lot easier and you aren’t jumping in front of her, it’s like a side sneak thing.
7. then feel on her secret spots.
8. undress
9. ???
10. profit