Dating : I [18M] can’t stop comparing myself with my friend
i’ve spent my whole life comparing myself with my friend. He’s always been handsome ( girls threw him glances/stare him/approach him ). Plus, he’s always been full of friends and is now in a fantastic relationship with a model.
I’m the exact opposite. I’m not ugly, but probably plain looking. I find it very difficult to approach girls ( especially because of my stuttering problem) without being labeled as a creep ( also by myself, due to my very low self esteem ). I’ve never dated or even kissed.
I’m starting having suicidal thoughts. What can I do? I can’t stop thinking about him and his girlfriend.
There’s an old quote, « comparison is the thief of joy ».
Take it to heart. Don’t focus on what _he_ has or _he_ can do better than you. Focus on what _you_ do well, on how you can be better than yesterday, on what you _already have_ that brings you happiness.
Specifically about girls: try bonding with many girls before approaching any relationship. Meet girls (and guys!) over whatever excites you: movies, games, etc. There’s always a club or a place or a chat room. Get out there, hang out with a bunch of people, enjoy life for what it is, and _stay open to possibilities_ instead of _searching for a relationship_.
It sounds like a cliche, but it’s solid advice. Give it time, you’ll see.
Do what’s best for you. Minimise contact with him and be truthful. The best thing to do is to focus on yourself and your blessings, its tough. Insanely tough but it has to be done.
Find a hobby, workout, improve yourself and soon you won’t be comparing anm. I truly believe the problem is not your friend or his model gf but it’s your self esteem. If you dont fix that, even if your friend breaks up w his gf you’ll still be having all these negative thoughts. It’s a matter of how you perceive yourself and that really needs to be worked on, internally.
Your friend deserves to know as well, if he’s a bro he will understand.