Dating : I am unbelievably shy around attractive girls

Dating : I am unbelievably shy around attractive girls

I’m a 21 year old male, for starters I’ve been incredibly shy in general ever since I remember myself. But since few years ago I’ve been able to hide my shyness by laughing about myself and joking whenever I meet new people.

However I’m still incredibly shy with attractive girls, it’s hard for me to keep a conversation, holding an eye contact, and flirting is basically something impossible for me, even when the girls are showing signs of being interested in me which I often don’t catch but even if I do catch it I’m not sure how I’m supposed to flirt. Last night at a club my friends were really trying to set me up with this one girl friend of theirs but as always I failed, we were all dancing in the club, I asked her  »hey want to go and dance with me? » (you can’t possibly imagine how much courage it took me to say that, I would have never said the words if I was sober) and she answered  »we’re already dancing ». I took that as her saying that she’s not interested and was almost relieved, but my friends said that one does not ask a girl to dance when we’re already all dancing in a group and I’ve now been cringing and kicking myself all day.

I’m fairly attractive, I’m 100% confident in my looks, but I’ve never even kissed a girl, I’ve been on 1 date from Tinder but I was so incredibly nervous, I couldn’t even talk (it was totally not the girls fault), I couldn’t bring myself to try dating on Tinder again, even if I matched with a girl I couldn’t bring myself to messaging her.

I’ve thought about talking to a professional but the career I’m pursuing is very sensitive about any mental disorder.

Read also  Dating : It's my first date as an adult, I have questions.

What do you think?

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  1. I think you are just beating yourself up a lot.
    You have confidence in looks but you don’t have confidence in yourself, that is the difference.
    You should believe in yourself more and be yourself. I get that maybe you are afraid of people judging you. That’s okay. Those people are not worth your time then if they can’t accept who your truly are.
    Think about it. Do you want to be with a girl who is insecure about herself and does not want to talk about herself because she is afraid of being judged? Nope. Sorry.

    I was a shy freshman in college so I can relate. I have grown out of my shell by simply focusing on what is important to me the most. The school was important. The family was important. My Job. Club responsibilities. I have met so many people by focusing on those passions and eventually was confident enough to talk to women when I practiced interacting with the people around me.

    To be blunt, you need to embrace who you are as a person and need to communicate better with people by speaking your mind. I believe you have a lot worth and I believe there is a woman who would enjoy someone like you. You just need to have the confidence of who you are rather than believing your attractive looks will magically do the work for you. Just keep doing what you love man. Unless you’re trying to be a pickup artist, just focus on that career and you’ll snag up a woman along the way

    Cheers mate.

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