Dating : I feel like when I’m talking to guys online I should lead with, I’m fat.
Sometimes I meet guys online and they just seem to like my personality and my pictures and they call me beautiful. These guys are fit and tall and gorgeous and they want to go out with me and I always end up leaving them on read. Or I will just slowly trickle out of the conversation. And let it die.
You see the problem is I’m fat. I know I’m fat, I’m not fishing for compliments or saying that I don’t have self-confidence because I am very confident. I think I’m beautiful but I do know that when guys look at me they see I’m fat. And I’m afraid to meet a guy that I am totally vibing with who is not going to be attracted to me.
So when I’m talking to guys I feel like I should warn them like hey, I’m 5’7 and 240 pounds. Are you OK with that? Fml. I’m so sick of being alone.
My advice is to show plenty of full body pics and let them decide for themself.
Unless you are only using deceptive head shots or deceptive clothing you don’t need to mention your weight.
Disclaimer: I was fat, I was 240, 5’9[M] so I know what you mean. However I lost 60 pounds after realising what I will write to you down below.
I will be honest with you, and what I will say is in no means to hurt you, but… first of all, you are not confident. You say you are, you say you love yourself and etc. but you don’t, and you know it. Maybe you dont CARE that you are not as attractive as you could be, but you do not love yourself in that regard (be honest to yourself). Loving yourself is the most important ‘feeling’ in life. If you cant love yourself, how can you love others? You also dont care that your weight is a strain on your health. Your weight is the #1 factor that is somewhat makes you unhappy, and fortunately you can change it. You can and have to start by actualy loving yourself – by realising that you have to be a better person today than yesterday. It is not easy, but it is doable.
P.s sorry it is hard to write everything down smoothly.
P.p.s im sure you are amazing person, but you can always get better
P.p.p.s i can suggest intermitment fasting if you wanna change.
There are guys that mean it when they say your gorgeous. Sure skinny woman look good in different ways but I’d rather have more to cuddle, and a larger butt and boobs.
I don’t understand how you’re confident with your body but you don’t have photos showing your body. At least then you don’t have to lead with the awkward « btw I’m a big girl ».
Just have a couple full body pics that are recent and depict how you actually look.
But if you already do, just accept that they really do find you attractive and go out with them! No need to mention your weight, they can see from your pics.
Don’t not go out with them because you don’t think you’re good enough. If you weren’t they wouldn’t have even matched with you.
You may say you are tired of being alone, but your actions scream otherwise.
Obesity is a sign of your depression, so focus on fixing those (a nutritionist and a psychiatrist could help). It may take 1 year or more, but when you deal with whatever is aching you you’ll be the best version of yourself. And THAT version is the one people will want to date. Dating while being depressive will be deleterious for you and, subconsciously, you know it. That’s why you don’t reply to guys.
Absolutely not, you’re you and people should like you for you. It should be about your heart and not your weight, I’m sure you’re a beautiful person inside and out. Good luck!