Dating : I want to ask an acquaintance out on a date but I’m worried they’re out of my league
Hey y’all. I (21F) met a guy (20M) a few weeks ago through some mutual friends and have seen him sporadically at social events since. He is very outgoing and attractive which makes me feel like he would put out of my league. I don’t think of myself as unattractive but it’s been a roadblock in me gathering the courage to ask him.
Also I’ve never asked anyone out on a date before, but I got out of a relationship a couple months ago and I’m ready to try again. I have his number but every time I think about calling or texting him to ask him out I get so nervous and can’t bring myself to do it.
Do you believe in “leagues”? How should I go about this and motivate myself to just go for it?
Do it. He can only say no
As a man, I’m wondering, have you had a real conversation with him before? And have you ever texted before?
Guys are normally more open minded about dating than women are, but still, if the first time a woman texts me is asking me out then that’s sorta outta left field and I’ll probably say no.
So ask him out, and dont be shy, but make sure there’s some dialogue going on before that
I don’t believe in leagues, for the simple fact that different people are attracted to different things.
For example, I’m a heightist (sorry, everyone – I genuinely know this isn’t cool, but it’s just a personal preference thing and I don’t discriminate against shorties outside of dating – trust me, I’m a shorty myself).
Anyway, I’m currently dating a guy who is 6’4”. I’m only 5’3”. According to my taste, his height makes him a 10/10. My height makes me a 1/10.
But, luckily for me, this guy I’m dating isn’t hung up on height like I am. He has other things that he’s into, which (apparently) I have.
Not everyone is their own type. If I was somehow a separate person, and I encountered myself on the dating scene, I probably wouldn’t date me, as I lack a lot of the physical attributes that I personally find attractive, such as (the aforementioned) height, as well as facial and body hair, a broad frame, and a deep voice, just to name a few. I’m also not attracted to large breasts (which, unfortunately, I have).
So by my own criteria, I’m about a 2/10, physically (I don’t mind my skin/hair colouring and that’s about it lol).
But thankfully there are guys out there who are into short, hairless, narrow-shouldered, high-voiced, large-breasted people. Honest to god, I’ve met a few. People having different tastes in partners is what makes the human race diverse and interesting.
This is why I don’t believe in leagues. Everyone has their own taste. And this is just physically, I haven’t even gone into the actual important factors such as personality, values and intelligence – people have different taste in these things too, and someone that gets rated 10/10 by one person on these factors could well be rated 2/10 by someone else.
The alternative is wondering “what if” for the rest of your life. Personally, I’d rather be momentarily embarrassed than plagued by the thought of (possibly) having let a good thing go because I didn’t think I was good enough.
Ps – You’re good enough.
If he’s that good looking keep in mind he probably has hundreds of tinder matches and has girls hitting on him every day. Almost all girls like the exact same 5-10% of guys so those guys have an insane amount of options.
Almost certainly if he dates you he’s gonna pump and dump you. If/when that happens I would challenge you not to come back here and post « why are all men so awful? » and instead question the decisions and thought process that led you into that position.
I smell a pump and dump