Dating : I’m an idiot, aren’t I?
I might be the dumbest person on earth and I hate myself for being it. Most of this happened months ago, but it freakin’ comes back in my mind now and destroys me.
Long story short, I fell in love with this girl after only two dates and hinted my feelings towards her. She wanted to visit me in my town and when I asked her shortly before the end of the holidays, if she comes in the next days, she wrote something like this:
>Hey, I’m so sorry, but I don’t think that’s going to happen in the next few days. I started working earlier and even if I would come in the following days, I can’t demand that you reschedule your events so shortly. The two times we met were wonderful, but I don’t want to raise your hopes or something’ and I don’t believe this would work out, if I don’t even find the time right now. So, I’m really sorry and this is all my fault, but I think it won’t work out.
I was devastated. I didn’t know why she lost interest in me, but in this situation I wasn’t sure if this was a definitive rejection or just a rejection for the visit. So I thought, I should play it cool and tell her we should keep things platonic and keep staying in touch. She was amazed by my understanding and gladly accepted staying friends.
I thought that would make me more interesting.
Now, I don’t know if I should’ve stayed more persistent. I still have feelings for her, even after dating multiple other girls and letting month pass. Actually I even compare most of the girls to her unintentionally and I really don’t know what’s feeding these feelings for her. Even after we agreed to stay friends, I tried to distance myself to not come off as too attached. We rarely text each other, but she still writes super long and kind texts, yet she almost never initiates conversations. I don’t know what to do and I lost some of my perspectives, but I still like her 🙁 I constantly think about my mistakes, how I could be more attractive and eventually regain her interest.
Dude… I’m still struggling with this.. and I’m 35. So don’t feel bad, everyone has their own life experiences and stuff.
She’s not interested. I’d let it go and move on.
Now wait a minute, did you tell her that you love her??
May I ask how old you two are?
Okay this is what you need to do. Take her number, block it, delete it, then open tinder, swipe and go out with another girl. Go out to the bars / clubs this weekend, find someone else.
>So I thought, I should play it cool and tell her we should keep things platonic and keep staying in touch. She was amazed by my understanding and gladly accepted staying friends. I thought that would make me more interesting.
HUGE MISTAKE.
This was the LEAST ATTRACTIVE thing you could do.
> Even after we agreed to stay friends, I tried to distance myself to not come off as too attached. We rarely text each other, but she still writes super long and kind texts, yet she almost never initiates conversations. I don’t know what to do and I lost some of my perspectives,
You sort of have the right idea here, but basically just don’t initiate any conversation with her at all. ANd if she initiates a conversation with you, you should be polite but otherwise completely disinterested.
> how I could be more attractive and eventually regain her interest.
I’m sorry dude but you have to move on. It hurts, but she truly is a waste of your time.