Dating : I(24F) feel like I’ll never find someone who will commit to me
I’ve never been in a relationship. I have never got past the “talking” phase with anyone. And I’m at the point where it’s exhausting and I feel depressed and defeated about it.
I’ve had many guys I can flirt with, who pop up here and there for some flirtations.
I’ve had guys I’ve been in the “talking” phase with for years.
And most recently, I’ve been getting to know someone since December and things progressed and went really well. He’s the best I’ve felt about anyone I’ve ever seen and he was my biggest hope for finally getting commitment out of someone. But now I’m starting to get vibes that he may be losing interest. And the thought of that is devastating enough to make me want to just give up.
Because no matter how much I put myself out there, I can’t seem to find someone who likes me enough.
I’m a pretty overweight person. Past the point that would be a dealbreaker for many, I know. And that’s fine- I don’t fault anyone for not wanting me because of that.
I’ve used dating apps for years. I’ve gone out. But in the end, nothing lasts long enough for someone to decide they want to me with me.
Not sure what else to do at this point
I’m not going to tell you to lose weight because if you gain it back it’ll be bad advice and you’ll find someone who wants you for your body, but not the person you could become. I’m telling you to focus on your health. A healthy relationship with yourself will hopefully foster into a healthy relationship with the intimacy you’re looking for. A healthy relationship with yourself starts within and is the journey you can invite someone on.
Feel like you but I’ve been in a 4 year relationship. After it ended I didn’t feel as bad as I feel now, (almost two years since it ended) and the longer it gets, the lonelier I feel. I have been interested in some girls in this time, but they all of them ignored me really hard.
All I can say is what my close friends tell me: work on yourself. At the end of the day, yourself is the only person that will be there no matter what. If you achieve that, it all gets easier (or so they tell me?)
Good luck!
Keep trying don’t give up. Find someone that’ll love you for you!! As cheesy as that sounds. Best of luck xo
I’m a guy in a similar situation. I’ve only had almost relationships. I do blame myself, not that I’m a bad person, or creepy. I just know and understand that dating is a very shallow business today. I’m OK looking. But that’s just it. I’m not hot, or chased by many. Both men and women get judged on looks harshly, and I can guarantee it’s because of the weight you struggle to find commitment. I wont tell you to lose weight for someone else. That’s something you need and want for yourself. Maybe well find someone who finds us sexually attractive, or maybe we wont. My point is, we should keep fight to improve ourselves always.
Do not change yourself unless you truly desire to make the change! Because if you live to please someone else you will never please yourself! The right person will come along eventually and they will love every bit of you 100%! You should never have to change yourself for another person..
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It’s most important to be in love with yourself before you love another!
I feel ya I’m a 18m and I have trouble finding someone to commit to most of my relationships end within an few months to half a year. But I still hold out faith
Fall in love with yourself first. Start admitting TRUTH to yourself and start exercising. Something fun though. Like riding a bike. Don’t think of it as exercise. Think of it as playing. When you find yourself you will have your pick of men. The only problem is you will realize they are all lying and little boys. You will be happy though. You will also notice they aren’t.
If you are overweight… and you know it’s a dealbreaker…. you’re tired of not finding people…. eliminate the dealbreakers…..
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.
.
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Lose weight.
Do mild to medium exercising
Eat veggies, cut out sugar, drink water, sleep well. Try it for a month
Maybe your physical and mental health should be priority right now. No one wants to jump into a relationship with an unhealthy person.
Well ill say it since many of the guys won’t. I don’t know how much you weight. And honestly that’s subjective what people think is too much. But being physically desireable is a part of attraction that can’t be ignored.
I’m not saying people have to look like a super model.
I’ve had girlfriends who were very slim and had great bodies but I ultimately broke up with due to complete lack of self confidence and iniative I the relationship on their part. I’ve had decent looking girlfriend I ended things with due to distance. We are still friends to this day and now she got really fit and looks hot AF good for her.
My most recent girlfriend was a bit chubby and not pretty. I’m sorry it’s true she wasn’t pretty. But I feel in love with her anyway and to me it didn’t matter she had a bit of belly etc. We ended things for other reasons. Well I ended them.
If you think it’s your weight that might be the problem then I would suggest loosing it. But your motivations for doing so is crucial. If you do it to be desired by others you will fail in motivating yourself or it will make you unhappy.
If you do it for yourself! And only for your own pleasure you will find it much easier to succeed. So my advice is to give a good long think about. Why not having a guy is so important to you and also what could you change about your self to make that different. And also what your motivations are.
If you work on yourself physically and mentally for your own pleasure. You will become a healthier person. A more interesting person and guys will take interest on their own and you should not run around proactively searching for a partner. Let it come naturally.
Lose weight, people are shallow and we’ve all got a ton of people to choose from. Guys get told the same thing but at least no one will reject you for being poor lol
Its not anyones buisness to tell someone how to live their life. But if you identify a problem in your life such as being overweight, dont you think its your responsibility to fix that problem? Im not saying being overweight is bad, im simply saying that you should fix somthing if you yourself identify it as a problem.
Whatever you believe, you’re right
Loose weight