Dating : I(don’t) have a boyfriend
I just started taking the train every day to and from work so I see a lot of the same people daily. I saw this one girl who I thought was really pretty and we kept smiling at each other and she looked like she wanted to talk to me.
Last week I finally worked up the courage to talk to her and we started to ride the train together and walk to work a little bit. From the way we were talking and interacting I really thought she was into me and wanted me to ask her out.
The other day I asked for her number to see if she ever wanted to grab lunch or get a drink after work one day. She did give me her number, but said the four words that no guy ever wants to hear: “I have a boyfriend.” I had a good feeling this wasn’t completely true being the way she was initially acting around me, but I decided to accept the fact that she wasn’t as into me as much as I thought, take her word for it, and just be friends.
This morning we talked for a little bit at the train station, but then she went on her phone and started swiping on Tinder, so it’s highly unlikely this boyfriend she told me about actually exists. I decided to pretend that I didn’t see this and just act normal with her.
Now I totally understand if she’s not interested in me. I’m fine with that and down to just have a platonic relationship with her. What I’m not fine with is that she flat out lied to me. I know the “I have a boyfriend” line is a typical line for girls to use for guys they aren’t interested in, but I’d rather girls just be honest with me and just simply say they’re not interested and I want her to know that.
Should I express how I feel about this, or should I just act like nothing is wrong and ignore it?
I would do neither. Push or pull your commute so you don’t have to interact with her. Not because I want you to be salty and pathetic. I just don’t think acting « like nothing is wrong » is a healthy way to interact with anyone, let alone someone you barely know.
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If you don’t like my previous comment, it means you’re already attached to her which I would completely understand (I’m assuming that you’re no longer ok with just being platonic friends, especially after the tinder incident but correct me if I’m wrong ). Just make sure it’s not the kind of attachment that will only cause you irritation and frustration.
She has a bf and is swiping on tinder… both things are not cool if done simultaneously. Huge red flag there. Find love elsewhere.
Just be polite but ignore her unless you actually want a friend. Do get sucked into being a validation object/oribter.
You two are basically strangers, she doesn’t owe you the truth at all and you really don’t know each other well enough to make a deal out of it.