Dating : If I feel a great mutual chemistry and connection with a woman every few conversations, does that mean she likes me more and cares about me more than other guys, or not really?
Every few conversations I have with this woman I feel like we have this really great connection. With the vast majority of people that I talk to (men and women) I feel pretty much nothing after talking to them and don’t feel happier for having the conversation, even if I get on well with them. But every now and then after talking to a particular person I have great chemistry with and a great a connection with (including this woman) I feel so good after talking to them like I’ve just taken a drug and I catch myself for a few hours afterwards still walking around with a stupid smile on my face and I suddenly have no anxiety or worry about anything and everything becomes more interesting to me when it did nothing for me before and I suddenly become so motivated to do so many things when I had no motivation to do anything before.
I know (or think at least) that this feeling of connection is mutual sometimes with this woman because after we have this type of connection she always looks really happy to see me and hangs around me way more often and makes excuses to talk to me or suggests that she can help me with something or makes an excuse to try and do something together.
However, our relationship is so hot and cold where we’ll get on really well like this but then keep going back to barely talking to each other or avoiding each other for long periods of time, before getting on really well again for a few days, and then going back to barely talking to each other again. I don’t really want to get into the reasons why I think this keeps happening. What I want to know is, if I occasionally have this really good chemistry and connection with this woman, would that mean that when we aren’t talking to each other she is thinking and caring about me? Would it mean I mean more to this women than other guys, or does it not really make a difference and would I be just as interchangeable as all the other men in her life?
I would presume that if the woman has a lot of options she’s not going to care that much if things aren’t going that well with me, even if we do seem to have really good chemistry when we get on. (I am presuming that she feels the same connection and chemistry, though maybe I am wrong). I don’t know how rare it is for her to feel this connection with other people. For me it is rare, which is probably why I like her more than the other people in my life. But I don’t know how rare it is for other people to feel this type of connection with another person, and whether it has any impact on how they feel about that person.
> I don’t really want to get into the reasons why I think this keeps happening.
You should have seen the look on my face when I got to this. I already had theories, and I didn’t like them either.
Some people can create a dependency in you through drug-like manipulation. Sad but it’s true. Research narcissism if you feel in your gut something is « off » – you could be taken in for a ride just for this girl’s amusement.
It does not necessarily mean that, no. It depends on the person. I say that because for whatever reason a lot of people think this about me, that there’s some strange connection, but it happens all the time. I go on one date and the guy says my presence is so immediately calming we must have a connection. Or they feel like they’ve known me forever. Or how easy it is to open up to me. But for me, it’s mostly more of the same. And I have had this exact situation happen where I would go long periods without talking to someone who felt that way then every time we did talk, a month apart each time, he can’t believe how connected we are and all that. But after the 4th time I was sick of it and blocked him, I don’t know why he felt the way he did but sometimes it just happens. I mean of course it *can* mean something, but not necessarily.