Dating : I’m hoping to get a female’s perspective on a dating situation of mine

Dating : I’m hoping to get a female’s perspective on a dating situation of mine

I (31M) went on three dates with a girl (28F) I met on a dating app.

 

The first date went really well. We had a couple beers at a beer garden and it ended with a light makeout. *She* asked me out on the second date about a week later, so she obviously enjoyed the first date too.

 

The second date was again pretty great. We went to a trivia night, but it was canceled so we just hit up a couple pubs. Again, it ended with a makeout, but she was much more aggressive about it than the first time.

 

I then invited her on a third date to a science exhibit thing that I had never done before.

The previous two dates had been on a week day and this was a Friday, so I was expecting a fun night on the town, but the first thing she said to me was that she couldn’t stay long because she needed to get up early the next day.

This kind of threw me off from the start and with the unfamiliar date idea mixed in, the date ended up being pretty awkward. I felt like she wasn’t having fun and I didn’t really know what we were supposed to be doing at this place, so I just wandered around with her hoping to find something interesting.

(Of note is that I was just starting dating again after my ex broke up with me a month or so prior. I went on a few dates before this girl and they were all pretty boring. I think the third date with her made me a bit nervous that I actually may have found someone I liked – which contributed to the awkwardness.)

Eventually we left and walked for a bit. Then had a short makeout before saying goodbye.

 

The next night she sent me a text saying she wasn’t ready to « jump into a relationship » and thought I was looking for something « more serious. » I responded that I didn’t want to jump into anything either and thought we just had a misunderstanding. Unfortunately, I was already out drinking with friends and all I could think was that I really wanted to see her again so I suggested we could still hang out as friends.

(My idea there was that I didn’t really know how to go about attempting to reconcile our intentions in online dating through text messages, so I figured that was a way to see her again if she was saying she didn’t want to go on another date.)

She just said she didn’t think we have enough in common to do that and that was her last message to me.

 

The next day I realized how stupid my response was to her and tried to fix it by reiterating that we were just misunderstanding each other and suggested we reschedule the trivia, but she didn’t respond.

 

 

For some background, I’ve been online dating off and on for almost 3 years now and have been on a ton of dates, but this situation bothers me so much. The problem is that I feel like I personally ruined a promising situation with just one bad date. I want so badly to erase that last date and do it over again. Everything prior to that last date would suggest that she was super into me, so it’s just confusing altogether. This is actually the very first time a girl has ever decided she didn’t want to see me anymore after a third date. First or second, yes, but if it’s gone to three she’s into me enough to keep going, so again, it’s just confusing. On top of that, I really liked her. It’s pretty rare that I have such a good time from the start when meeting girls online.

 

Anyway, It’s been three months now since that last text and I’m just thinking about how dumb I was with that last date. I have never considered texting a date who had previously rejected me, but this just seems different enough for me to wonder what could happen.

 

So to put this all into a question, if you were in this girl’s shoes where you really liked a guy enough to ask him out on a second date, but were turned off by an awkward third date, would you be weirded out if he texted you three months later telling you he wanted to take you on a better date than the last one? Is there any possible scenario where that could work? haha

And I do know that there’s basically no way for it to *not* be weird, so is there an obvious way the message could be worded that would be the least weird?

 

Thanks