Dating : Is cyber sex cheating?

Dating : Is cyber sex cheating?

I caught my boyfriend exchanging nude snaps with another girl.. and having sexual text messages (you know to arouse each other). He said he isnt cheating on me because he’s not seeing her in person anyway (she lives miles away).

Can a person love you and still have cyber sex with someone else… I understand it’s possible to love someone and be physically attracted to someone else (not me though)

I try to be open minded here, maybe he just wanted to get off like watching porn since there’s no way he’ll be seeing this other girl in person anyway

What should I do? I love him 🥺

What do you think?


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  1. Watching porn and jerking off is one thing (perfectly fine).

    Interacting with a real woman, exchanging sexy photos / videos, actively engaging with her (sexting) so both people can get off – definitely could be considered cheating. I certainly would.

  2. Absolutely 100% cheating. He is being unfaithful. Have some self respect and leave him, you’ll find someone else who is worth your time. Don’t let a man fuck you over. You don’t deserve that

  3. It is cheating.

    When you make a physical OR emotional investment in someone else that isn’t your partner, it’s a betrayal. This situation isn’t the same as him looking at porn.

  4. Cheating doesn’t only mean having physical sex with another person. Sexting, emotional affairs, keeping financial crises under wraps are all forms of cheating.

    What’s concerning is how he is gaslighting you that he didn’t cheat because he didn’t meet her and now you are here asking us what you should do while doubting yourself. There is a reason you used the word * »caught »*.

    However, if you think you are okay with this – Your bf sharing nudes and sexts with another person – then I suggest establishing some ground rules about how to navigate this kind of arrangement.

    Good luck!

  5. Of course it’s cheating, no question at all. He’s just manipulating you, don’t be delusional and naive.

    The fact that you’re making this post also underlines that you’re really hurt by this, be honest to yourself about how you really feel.

    Btw, if having a sexual distance-relationship with another girl is so unproblematic, why did he hide it from you?

    Now, if he was truly sorry about it and deeply apologized to you, it would have been a different story. The way he reacted however tells me that you should end this. You love him, but he doesn’t seem to care too much about you at all. Smells like a very one-sided relationship.

  6. And imo it’s different than porn because porn is seen by millions of people and is everywhere for easy access. He had to look for and find this girl. Ask her to sext with him and then do that as well as pursue her to send him nudes and vise versa. It’s a one on one sexual experience Over Snapchat

  7. Short answer yes. Longs answer yes that is cheating. If you’re looking for a guy or girl that isn’t your partner for sexual pleasure, in person or not, that is cheating. Hell I’d consider flirting with someone cheating and that’s not as bad as sending nudes to a girl that isn’t your gf or asking for/ getting nudes of a girl.

  8. Sounds like cheating to me for sure. If he’s engaging in sexual activity that you both haven’t agreed upon for boundaries and you are not comfortable and feeling hurt and betrayed then yes, it could mean cheating

  9. Doesn’t even matter if anyone considers it cheating. He hurt you. His actions have caused you emotional pain and now, bc of his ridiculous comments, he has you second guessing what you already know. He cheated.
    Run far away from this relationship.

  10. That’s absolutely cheating. And he’ll do it again.

    Sure someone can love you and still cheat…I guess? Does that person really deserve your love though?

  11. It is cheating. He is trash and you might love him but he obviously doesnt care for your feelings or how this would make you feel. He should have asked first to see if you are open to it but instead he was being sneaky about it and not telling you so he didnt want you to know. That tells you a lot about what kind of person he is.

  12. It’s cheating. End of the story! He did it once, he even found excuses why and how it isn’t cheating, therefore he will do it again if you forgive him.

  13. Dump him. I know you love him but he is cheating and trying to justify it. There is NO WAY this relationship continues without hurting you. Dumping him now sounds sad and scary but it is honestly your happiest path forward.

  14. Can a person love you and still have cybersex with someone else, absolutely. Is what you described cheating, yes. The two aren’t mutually exclusive.

    In fact, I’ll do you one better to illustrate my point.

    I was in a very committed relationship with a fantastic partner, and sometimes we would hit a lull, where things don’t work out as hoped sexually. She would occasionally just say, « I know it’s been a while, but I’m exhausted, so why don’t you go get taken care of, and try not to wake me up when you get home. No uggos! »

    So, am I cheating as I’m actively headboard drilling? No.

    Now, she’s at work, and I get horny, so do the exact same thing unilaterally. Am I cheating? Absofrigginlotuely.

    The difference? Communication.

    You can be fine with him having a cybersex pal. You can certainly consider it cheating, as well. That’s up to you two to define both together and separately.

  15. I’m a guy: this is cheating. Porn is one thing but to actively engage with a woman with the intention of jacking off to her naked body is premeditated. Porn is simply a video you watch and bust off to the porn star doesn’t know you exist or care if you exist. This is a human being who reciprocated what he put out, a lot more work than going on PH and whacking it. It’s cheating.

  16. Yes. It is cheating. If she was closer, it is highly likely he would have slept with her. If he was satisfied and in love with you, WHY would he be engaging in cyber sex?

  17. This is cheating. If you were to accept this, I have no doubt that he would physically cheat… if he has not already.
    Some men fill their insecurities by having women outside their relationship boost their ego.

  18. Tell him how this makes you feel. It doesn’t matter if he’s « really » cheating, if he keeps doing something after you’ve told him how it affects you that’s bad.

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