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Dating : Is his age range a red flag?

Dating : Is his age range a red flag?


I’m 30F, he’s 34M. His age range for potential partners is set at 18-37. He has kids and indicated he isn’t looking for something casual. Profile says he is serious about finding someone emotionally mature, extremely self aware and activist minded. He cites a lot of esoteric/philosophical/spiritual interests and seems to be sincere in nature. His lifestyle seems to be at odds with dating a teenager. Again, if he’s just looking for hookups or something casual I’m not even judging – not my business. Just find it odd… Red flag?

What do you think?

38 Comments

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  1. He’s talking to you, a 30 year old, so I don’t think he’s actually aiming at those 18 year old’s; he’s just not going to block them from messaging him if he doesn’t have a reason to.

    Any cut off point you set is going to be semi arbitrary, should it be half your age + 7? For him that would be… 26? But is a 25 year old really too young for him? Would he actually turn down a woman who was great in every way, but 1 year too young? What about 24?
    Et cetera et ecetera.

    So he just sets it to the minimum rather than try to pinpoint exactly what age gap would be a breaking point. None of those 18 year olds are going to message him anyways.

  2. Yes 100% red flag. Its laughable that some people are saying, he set his age range for 18-37 but would not be interested in a 18/19 years old. Whether he is looking for a hook up or serious relationship, once people are over 25, they have no business being around 18-19 years old. 18 years old are typically in high school.

  3. It would definitely be a red flag in my opinion. Even just in my early/mid 20’s I think it’s quite uncomfortable to date an 18 year old so for someone almost an entire decade older than me to consider it okay is quite weird. Certainly a red flag imo

  4. I wouldn’t overthink it. Should he bump it up? Sure—you won’t find maturity in the 18-22 bracket. Hell, you don’t find it above that. But no, I wouldn’t call this a red flag.

  5. When I use OLD, I generally set a generous age range, as I like to judge people as people, and not make assumptions.

    I don’t range down to 18 because the odds of compatibility are vanishingly rare, and all of my dates have been within a few years. But if a younger woman wants a chance to make her case as to why I should consider her a match, I’ll let her make her case.

    Met quite a few younger ladies with their shit together. Met quite a few older ladies who are barely potty trained.

    But, like I said, I date the person, not the number. Some people really focus on dating the number.

    Different strokes for different folks.

  6. I’m a 26 year old woman and wouldn’t date a 37 year old man. That’s way too old for me. My settings are 24-29.

    My guy friends who are my age have their settings in the same range as me. My 23 year old friend said he wouldn’t date anyone younger than 21 and even then, 21 is young and uncomfortable for him.

    It’s a red flag his settings are even set to that low of a range. Me and my friends have our settings set to a range we like. Your guy set his settings to the range HE likes. He has it set that low in the off chance an 18 year old does offer herself up.

    Run.

  7. Could be, but it might also be nothing. My Tinder range is 18-99 (I’m 22) just because I don’t want to ask myself where my cutoff would be. I still swipe left on every 18 year old and rarely ever swipe roght on someone much older than myself.

  8. I think it’s important to remember that red flags aren’t dealbreakers, they’re signs of potential danger or warning.

    In that sense, this man’s age range is 100% a red flag.

    A lot of guys on Reddit would like to hook up with 18 year olds at the age of 34 so they’re not going to see it as a red flag. There are also a lot of people are suggesting that maybe it was an accident. That could be the case but I’d keep an eye out. Personally, a 34 man wanting to hook up with or date barely adults (with a 16 year age difference) is a dealbreaker but if you want to keep dating you can, I’d just pay more attention to his actions to see if there are more red flags.

  9. As a guy we don’t really pay attention to the age range on dating apps we set a max age and that’s it. If we see someone to young we swipe left. That’s it nothing more nothing less we just really don’t pay attention to it

  10. I’m 29 and I date guys usually in their 30’s. If a guy I’m seeing has his age limit set below like 25 it’s a turn off for me.

    At 18 is an absolute no – they aren’t even 21, what are they planning to do with them?

  11. Kinda sounds like the default age range when signing up for OLD.

    Unless he specifically said he was interested in dating a 18 year old. Then thats weird.

  12. 18-27 is a bit young for a 37 year (my opinion) But probably not a red flag but keeping his options opened? I think for online dating it’s difficult so he set it younger to get more options?

  13. I don’t really see why a 34 year old would want to date 18/19 year olds. And at 31 I certainly wouldn’t. But with that being said there are a lot of judgy motherfuckers on here who probably say very little when their favourite celebrities do the same thing. Calling someone creepy or weird for wanting to date a fully grown adult, I mean it’s a stretch in my opinion, when you meet people in real life you can never tell exactly how old they are by just looking at them, a hot girl could be 18 or 26 and look similar dressed up, you have no clue. Maybe he’s just open to hook ups and some younger girls are into older guys, I don’t see how that’s a red flag, just consensual sex between two adults.

    Like I say, not for me but what other people do isn’t my business, I think the bigger problem in society is how judgmental people are about others lives, and the double standards that come with that.

  14. Men do not get as much matches as women. They will wider their net to catch whatever they can get. No man is going to turn down a pretty woman wanting casual sex even if they are a virgin. I know this for a fact!

  15. So much agism here.

    Why do you need to ask the internet if agism is a red flag?

    Either -you- care or you don’t. Leave it at that. Don’t let the pitchfork masses tell you what to care about.

  16. Maybe he was just too lazy to change range. 🙂 Dont think theres problem, where there isnt any. Another way to solve this to simply ask him. Good luck!

  17. its not. All men do it on dating apps. Im 34 and the last time I was on a dating app, thats pretty much the age range I would set as well.

    ​

    It simply comes down to probability odds. Dating apps are notoriously hard for men to get matches. We, for the most part, swipe right on everyone, and then wait and hope for matches and then filter out matches after the fact where women filter at the start. It means that we have a way less likely chance of matching with you because you’ve judged us before, where we’ll judge you after.

    ​

    Its simply that.

  18. I don’t believe it’s a red flag…besides he’s talking to you and I don’t believe he would want to date those 18-19 years old either.he’s probably just messing with you about that fact.But i really think it depends on you if you wanna be with him.

  19. I dont get why people think it is a red flag. I am 29 and I havent even thought about any cut off age. In general, 19-20 years old are too young for me. I can be friends with them but they have basically zero life experience most of the time. The youngest I have dated this year is 22. But I have also dated a 34 year old while I was 24. Age is just a number so I try to refrain from judging.

  20. I’m around the same age as him (mid 30s). For me at least, I have zero interest in dating anyone under the age of 25 or so. The gap in maturity/life experience is too big. I’d see this as a « yellow flag » – you should ask him.

  21. He may not be looking for something casual, but if something casual knocks on his door he’s not going to say no. At least that’s how I interpret it.

  22. Maybe a yellow or orange flag. Maybe he meant to select 28 or something instead of 18. You could jokingly bring up a conversation about the youngest person you dated or something, or age ranges when dating, or whatever. That way you can get a better feel for if he really thinks dating an 18 year old is okay or not, which is really the fundamental issue.

  23. I’m 34M, my age range is 26-34. BUT I definitely take a harder view of the younger ones as I expect them to be immature airheads (and sadly, not far wrong).

    I’ve considered lowering it to 24, because I know some fine people who at 24 were wonderful catches, but I’m leery of all the idiots.

    Still, not a red flag. 18 is pretty young, IMO, but maybe he’s open to flings as well. Have you asked him?

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