Dating : Is it bad to want to be in love when you have sex for the first time?
I feel like a loser being 27 year old female (turning 28 in the Fall) with no experience. I feel uncomfortable just telling a guy because all of them have already had sex. I’m not religious at all either, just never had the chance to have sex. I want to have feelings for a guy and care about them before I have sex with them and I hope they would care about me, but I feel like with the way dating is right now that stuff doesn’t even matter anymore. Everything is about sex, or everything is sexualized on social media and I certainly can’t keep up with that.
I’m a 27M also turning 28 in the fall. I am in your exact situation. I don’t think it’s possible for me to have sex with someone without any form of commitment. I don’t understand how people aren’t emotionally damaged from constantly having new partners. I have totally banned all social media (save Reddit), and I only need people in person. I’m a way more dateable person when I’m not engaged in social media. And the people I’ve dated found me interesting enough that they didn’t care about me not having it. It helps that I am more of an outdoor person anyways so I tend to meet likeminded people that way.
It’s not bad but it is going to be more difficult because of what you’ve outlined, social media etc. I have some friends who put that they want to take it very slow physically in their dating profiles and sometimes they get good matches! Might be worth trying.
It’s not bad at all.
I’m 29.
Have had PLENTY of opportunities to have sex for the first time, but I also want to have significant feelings for someone when I do it for the first time, amongst other reasons for deciding to wait. I am relatively upfront about it.
I’m finally dating someone who I can definitely see myself being physical with in the near future. Super glad I didn’t compromise. A lot of things matter about as much as you want them to matter. You only want to sleep with someone you have feelings for? That is absolutely your prerogative and if I were you I’d stick to my guns and not be waved by what Bob, Sally, and Jennifer are doing.
Hey girl, I’m 22(f) and I am the same way. I’ve seen the hurt of my friends, when they would give themselves that way to someone and then that person leave, or things just not workout. Now, even though I am Christian, I still do feel I would have a hard time after having sex with someone if I wasn’t in love. I just feel whether you are religious or not, that is just a emotional experience for both, and should be special. I’m weird, I swear I’m not for this world. It’s hard, but it weeds out people that you have no future with. I guess that is the good thing about it, it weeds out people who don’t respect the person you are. We all have our own viewpoints.
There are plenty of normal and good men who will be perfectly fine waiting until you’re comfortable and ready. I’m seeing a girl who wants to wait since she is very inexperienced. I’ve got a lot more experience when it comes to sex, but if waiting makes her comfortable and will make it more special for both of us then I am perfectly fine holding off. Just be honest about it, say you would appreciate waiting until you’re comfortable, and it will filter out bad people on its own.
Also, you’re not a loser for not having sex yet. Guys don’t see it that way, and having sex with someone you love is far more special than sleeping around.
No, it’s totally normal for the bonding hormones to work as intended.
If you’re with the right man, he would cherish being the recipient of that.
Most men haven’t had that experience.
Also, the bonding hormones work differently for men and women.
Tolerance to the hormone is built up every time in a woman when it leads to a relationship break until it no longer works as designed.
For men, that bonding occurs over time.
Those thoughts are understandable and it’s obviously your choice to make. As with anything else that is the reverse of the norm, you will somewhat « suffer » for that choice. Many people will not be ok with that and they will eliminate themselves from your potential dating pool. You’ll have less options but I’m sure there’s a guy out there that either doesn’t mind waiting for you or feels the same way.
It’s not wrong to have that thought, but you must be realistic.
You want to have that experience? Fall in love with a very religious person.
It’s definitely not bad to want to wait until you’re in love. But I also wouldn’t put sex on such a high pedestal at this point unless it’s for religious reasons. I think most people have the idea that they want to lose their virginity to someone they’re in love with, and it doesn’t always happen that way.
As a female who lost my virginity at 26, I did wait until I was in a relationship which I am happy about. We were not in love and I ended it 4 months later but I don’t regret it and am glad I did it to move on to having sex with other men.
On the flip side, I have a friend who I bonded with because we were both older virgins, I had sex at 26, she’s now 32 and still a virgin because she has set the bar too high for “the first time”. So just be realistic and if you’re comfortable, do it. You’ll have much better sex in the future than whoever you lose your virginity to, unless you get lucky and wind up marrying that person.
My wife and I made love on our first date,if you go around giving it to every first date that’s a different story but if you vibe with someone,you just know.
Tbh i like to date a girl who has not much or 0 experience sexually bc i can show her for her first time how it feels to be loved in a sexual way. U will find ur man trust me.
It’s not bad, and there are plenty who still feel the same was.
No not at all..
Just be aware that whoever you do have sex with the first with may not be the last person you have it with. Nothing wrong with wanting an emotional connection first
I think people call this « demi » nowadays
Not bad at all, but it feels like a long shot these days.
I would say sex is not such a big deal, you probably won’t end up with the first person you had sex with.