Dating : Is there no connection or am I just being too guarded?
I am a F29 and recently reconnected with a childhood crush after a breakup a few months (found out he cheated on me for almost the entire relationship of 2.5 years). Things have been going well. The guy (M29) is very kind, handsome, and generous. But I find myself not feeling connected to him. On paper, the guy has a great job, looking for a serious relationship, and pretty much just spoils me. But I still don’t feel anything. I’m also starting to nitpick at other little things (lack of communication skills, his phone constantly going off while we are together, he’s more blue collar, etc). I do have a fear of getting hurt again so maybe I’m just trying to protect myself.
Is this an issue with me or is there truly no connection?
Update: I ended the relationship. I think it’s for the best. Thanks for everyone’s advice!
Alot of people (mostly females) nowadays have this ideal of an instant relationship. You meet the guy and he just wows your scocks off and you get married and live happily ever after. The problem is that isn’t realistic. Most of the time when a relationship starts off at a high point like that it usually ends up only going downhill from there.
​
When I met my ex I didn’t feel a connection at first but overtime we build one because we both wanted the same thing. From your post it sounds like you both want the same thing. Take it in stride and build a connection. Also tear down that wall around your heart. Don’t be the Donald Trump of love.
I just made a post asking which is pretty much ur situation but I’m the guy who wants to close the distance…
I feel like this depends on so many factors, it’s hard to say. Every one of my relationships has started off with me really liking the guy. Physical attraction, an interest in their ideas and passions, and a motivation to spend more time with them. When I meet people and I don’t really like them, and give them a chance/some more time, I end up still not liking them, but now it’s harder to pull the plug. I know the whole case for people wanting an « instant » relationship and how you need to give people a chance. However, if I would rather be alone than see the person again, I stop seeing them. I’m pretty sure that in order to have a shot, after a few dates I will need to actually like the person to continue dating them. I have never seen me actually begin to like someone I do not already like, after several dates. So, what’s the point? I’ll stay single until I find someone I’m happy to have by my side.