Dating : Is this a red flag? Or am I over analyzing the situation
I’ve (M,22) been dating this guy (M,24) for about 5 months now and it’s getting more and more serious.
We get into a few arguments every now and then but it’s never been anything bad.
The only thing that’s been a strain in our relationship so far is how different our life philosophies are- I KNOW that sounds stupid but basically he is a huge realist and pessimistic. Because I was lost support from my parents for being gay, I have to work a LOT on top of school so as I’ve grown I’ve become very fixated on positivity. This makes me a very sensitive person and I def think I can be “toxically positive” in some cases for sure.
This gets in the way of our relationship sometimes because my boyfriend is very critical and sort of mean when it comes to jokes. He can also be unnecessarily argumentative which stresses me out as someone who’s admittedly very defensive. But we’ve talked about it and he’s come a long way with being kinder.
However, today I got a text from him saying “what the fuck is wrong with you” while I was at work, I was so anxious and confused so I ran to the back to read the texts, and basically he was really upset about a spill I didn’t realize I made and left. It got on his stuff so I think he’s totally in the right to be upset, but the way he spoke to me in the heat of the moment made me so uncomfortable and anxious. I understand that people just get upset sometimes and lash out but I feel like saying “what the fuck is wrong with you” and being that passive aggressive and upset over an accident is concerning.
About a half hour later he sent another text, this time it was really long but calm and communicative. He just explained that he felt that I wasn’t as respectful of his things as he was to mine. I think that’s a very fair thing to be upset about and I understood his point and ofc was very sorry, my concern only lies with how he initially reacted? He also never addressed the way he spoke to me in the heat of the moment.
I can’t tell if I’m being too sensitive or if this is a valid concern.
Like that was just a random dumb mistake I made, what is his reaction going to be like when I inevitably fuck up really bad?