Dating : Just found out about the AI companion “Replika”, my thoughts on AI companions….

Dating : Just found out about the AI companion “Replika”, my thoughts on AI companions….

I also saw this movie called “HotBot” (I KNEW it was going to have terrible reviews when I Googled it) which represents the final stage (what next stage could there be?), more advanced and realistic AI companion.

I am 25 years old, I’m a guy, I’ve never had a girlfriend, I am a virgin, and A LOT of girls have told me I’m ugly. So naturally, when I find out about something like this, my mind thinks of it more seriously, like is this an actual potential option to not be completely alone? Yes, the idea depresses me, nonetheless.

But, being that I’ve seen 30-40+ year old men online claiming to be virgins who have never had a girlfriend, I figure since I’ve already had such a track record for being “ugly”, and reached 25, I’m pretty likely to end up the same way. Especially since all other aspects of my life are broken and I’ll probably end up homeless worst case, or best case, maybe in a decent paying career that is meaningless just like these dead end (but way below living wage, even fulltime hours) retail jobs.

So maybe I’ll somehow end up in a decent career that I can live off of, but it’ll probably be meaningless and/or get boring quick, even worse when having to serve authority above me and deal with BS company policies. My mental health will only get worse, but I suppose it’d still be way worse if I was homeless.

I’m not sure if I even have the mental or emotional capacity to be in a serious long-term relationship anyway, I couldn’t last 25 years of misery and 7 years of more particular isolation without further psychological damage. That time is gone, and I’m still getting older.

They say you’re not supposed to pursue relationships until you “got your life together”. Supposedly you’re NEVER supposed to actively look for a relationship, but realistically you don’t get ANYTHING in life if you’re not even actively trying to. Even worse when your natural lifestyle is inside playing videogames and shit and you just don’t seem to understand how social connection in general works.

You can swipe on every single woman on Tinder (assuming the algorithm doesn’t detect that and automatically ban you for doing that) and get literally not one match, it’s so superficial and based off of pictures, before any actual messaging.

Dating is like a competition (just like working jobs) which I get has an aspect of nature to it, but to me, that just kind of devalues relationships. It should be a naturally, organic, connection, right? Fueled by the brain chemicals or whatever the hell we operate on (Rick Sanchez needed to explain LOL).

I’ve spent most of my time at home on the internet (aside from going to a meaningless miserable dead end retail job) but I also went to grade school/high school once, and what I experienced was a social nightmare, so I’ve been in a “physical social world”, I guess.

In addition to that, in MORE RECENT YEARS, I got told I was ugly by a lot online, which made me feel even lower than I already did, especially because I was feeling hopeful that I might actually be attractive.

So, look at what I’ve went through, and I’m 25 now, and there exist guys in their 30s, 40s, older, just like me. So seems pretty certain I’m already set in their fate, right?

I don’t know, surely there must be things they could have done better in their control, maybe they’re not telling the full story (since it’s so easy to lie and be believed online).

But I once asked someone “maybe women just tell me I’m ugly because they’ve been abused and assume/fear I’m the same” (it’s not just that I’m “ugly”, they’re unnecessarily extra mean about it) and they said “no that is probably not true”, which means that I really must just be ugly.

I’ve been hit on by guys, even happened in real life. Upset me more because I’m not gay but it’s only guys who think I’m attractive?

I mean, I had a female friend who once wanted to do it, but I chickened out. A few LDR online (but really like that can count).

A lot of people say “romantic” relationships are less important than “friendship” and “family” anyway, so that implies “romantic” isn’t special, or it is less special? So, if anything, wouldn’t “friends with benefits” (as far as sex being considered important and special) be better than a “romantic” relationship?

I’m very confused, I have no personal reference to understand. But I think in a very logical, precise way, otherwise it’d be too easy to fool me…..

I doubt I’m able to communicate my thoughts exactly as I intend to, it’s very hard to do so.

I very much wish I had a girlfriend sometimes. Yes, I get horny and just have that animal urge for sex, but I also crave the more emotional aspects too. Like, just cuddling and talking, being touched, haven’t even hugged a female since, 5 or 6 years, maybe?

It seems kind of ridiculous to think that I’m some kind of anomaly who just can’t attract any females (specified females because I’m not gay, even though I’ve been desirable to males) but it obviously happens to other guys, who are even much older than me.

Maybe it’ll happen ONE DAY, right? Maybe when I’m in my 30s, 40s, even 50s? Personally I find it particularly devastating to still be a virgin who’s never had a girlfriend at 25, definitely more so past 20s, but everyone says “AGE DOESN’T MATTER!!!!!”

To me, age kind of matters, because there’s like a magic with being younger, the whole young love I’ll never get to experience now. Aside from that, it’s just simply getting older, closer to death (and we’re not even guaranteed to live another day) but we live in a society where everyone yells at you that it “doesn’t matter WHEN things happen”, even though they’re usually saying this hypocritically.

Maybe I could just have an AI companion and a real good fleshlight until that “one day” but even that idea doesn’t strike me right, it rubs me the wrong way (no pun intended). Seems like it’d be unhealthy and worsen the ability to connect, even though I may never meet anyone to connect with anyway, but it could also just be far into the future.

Biology has time limits (I’m antinatalist so don’t want kids, but still have desires for sex and companionship).

For some reason having these experiences WHILE I’M YOUNG matters a lot to me, even though so many people say it doesn’t matter if it happens now or 20 years from now. A lot of people also say you shouldn’t plan on enjoying life in general until “retirement” which I think is absolutely ridiculous, because you just worked away all of your youth and most of your entire life, TO JUST NOW ENJOY LIFE? BS.

I’m tired and my head hurts.